Several months ago I came across Tim Brownson’s work, A Daring Adventure. Since then, I’m a regular visitor. One reason is due to his humor and outlook on life, the other is to possibly steal some of his ideas (the marriage coaching experiment idea came from him).
I also got his book Don’t Ask Stupid Questions, it’s totally worth it. He offers some great ideas and advice for handling many of life’s situations. It practical, funny, and real. Check it out.
Now off to Tim’s take on a simple marriage.
I got married relatively late compared to a lot of people because I was 33 at the time. I remember prior to the day being told over and over that marriage was a question of give and take and compromise. I didnâ€™t get that and quite honestly thought it was flat out wrong.
Surely if youâ€™re marrying your best friend and soul mate compromise should be unnecessary and married life should move from one blissful event to another in a series of cinematic happy endings.
Within about 24 hours I realized not only was I wrong, but horribly wrong to boot. Do we open the wedding presents before or after the honeymoon? After seemed sensible to me as we only had a day to spare before and there was lots to do. Before thought my wife because she was super excited and didnâ€™t want to wait to see what goodies we had been given.
Thus started 12 years (and hopefully many more) of compromise. To say I was naÃ¯ve would be akin to saying Anchorage is quite cold. If naivety had been an Olympic event I would have been nailed on for the gold.
Looking back now Iâ€™m not at all sure what planet I was on. Having said that Iâ€™m glad I was so wide of the mark otherwise I may never have got married.
The simplification of marriage needs compromise and lots of it. If you are going to dogmatically stick to your guns with every major and even minor decision youâ€™re going to be in for a rocky ride. However, if you can park your desire to get your own way all the time at the door, youâ€™ll more than likely have a great marriage.