“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” ~ Helen Keller
Creating intimacy between you and another person can be scary, even dangerous at times — but most everyone wants it; to not be alone as you journey through life. There are risks involved with intimacy — you could feel hurt or embarrassed.
The good news is that you can learn how to cultivate intimacy in ways that fulfill both you and your spouse.
To begin, you must realize that you are responsible for you. Too often, people wait for their spouse to make the first move, to initiate the conversation, to walk over and offer the hug or shoulder to cry on. The problem with this strategy is that you have no control over someone else’s actions. All you can control is you. [Read more…] about Live Dangerously in Marriage
“Hey babe, what if next summer we set off on an adventure as a family and travel around the country in an RV for a year or two?”
“I could see doing that.”
A couple of hours later my wife comes to me … “There has to be a bigger reason to do this. Simply traveling the country to see things doesn’t feel like enough.”
“What if we use this opportunity to take Simple Marriage (the original name of SMR Nation) on the road and meet people, hear other’s stories, and hopefully spread a healthy marriage message?”
A big smile appears.
This conversation took place late in 2010 and launched us on a path toward a great adventure.
By the following week, we had a lead on a truck and fifth wheel. By the end of the year we owned it. In February our house was on the market, routes were being discussed, homeschooling/roadschooling information was being researched, and all our extended family had heard about our great adventure.
While we still hadn’t announced our plans on a large scale, everything was in motion.
Fast forward to today … I’m writing this while still being in our home having sold the truck and fifth wheel. Our kids are in school. My wife is still working and my practice is still in full swing.
What happened? [Read more…] about What If Your Story Changes?
Meet the All-American family: a house in the suburbs, nice cars, 2.5 kids, both parents working, kids on a team for soccer, baseball, dance, quite a bit of debt on credit cards, a mortgage, and routine, vanilla sex once a week (usually).
Or put another way, schedules run the show.
Perhaps you don’t consider yourself the All-American family. Okay.
How do you usually answer this question: “So, how are things?”
My guess is the simple reply … “busy.”
If your schedule is jammed packed and runs the show, have you ever stopped and wondered if you’re too busy for your marriage?
If your answer is yes, why do you suppose we allow ourselves to stay so busy?
I’ve seen many couples in my counseling practice who claim that their marriage is a priority but their actions display anything but.
We make time for the important things in our life.
Do you have seasons or years of your life that you look back on and wonder “Who is that person?”
I can’t believe I used to do that, think that, work there.
I used to try and not care about anything as a teenager and young adult – when the truth was I actually cared way too much. I thought happiness was a destiny – not a choice. I thought love was something that just happened – not something that was worked for. I thought that being “cool” had to be practiced and learned from others rather than invented for oneself.
When I was a newlywed I believed that our love would overcome any marital obstacle in our way. That sex would just happen most evenings because we were married – and in love.
I also believed that credit was a good way to get what I wanted right away and the mountain of debt being created would go away when I made enough minimum payments. $20,000 in debt, a monthly payment of $38 – yeah, that maths works out.
Every step of the way it turns out I’ve been wrong. About almost everything. All throughout my life, I was flat-out wrong about myself, others, society, culture, the world, the universe, everything.
The odd thing is now I hope that will continue to be the case for the rest of my life.
Because when I compare Present Corey with Past Corey I see immediately that I’ve grown. I’ve learned new things. I’ve discarded old schemas that no longer work for my life and beliefs. [Read more…] about What If You’re Wrong?
Sex is an important aspect of most every marriage. Your sexuality plays a major role in life. It influences how you dress, act, and interact with others around you. It’s everywhere.
Stand in line at your local grocery store and see if you can avoid seeing the word sex on a magazine cover. You’ll likely see it several times.
Talking about sex however, is possibly one of the more difficult conversations in life. Did you realize that for many people, it’s easier to talk about sex with friends than it is with your sexual partner? Why is that?
It’s tied to the anxiety these intimate subjects and acts create.
Do you remember how nervous you were during your first sexual encounter? Filled with uncertainty, the exploration of the unknown, being vulnerable with someone else, sharing new parts of yourself with another person. [Read more…] about Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby