“Man, I can’t stand when she does that. Should I speak up and tell her?“
“Absolutely not! You speak up, she’ll get mad. And if she gets mad, you can kiss the chance for sex tonight goodbye dude.“
This is a snippet of a conversation that often took place in my head.
It was between myself and the Nice Guy (also known as the Pleaser).
For many years, the Nice Guy won out.
I avoided conflict like the plague.
I feared that my life or desires would rock the boat and create problems for others … namely my wife. And if I did something that people around me didn’t like, they’d run away as fast as they could.
What I’ve discovered however, is that when I spend all my time focused on others and their perception of me, I am not presenting them something real to create a perception of.
Know this – It’s tough to be in a relationship with a moving target. And frankly, many of us are in a relationship just like this.