When asked about this, the Buddhist monk and zen teacher Thich Nhat Hahn shared this parable:
“Let’s say that you want to eat a peach for dessert one evening, but you decide to only allow yourself this luxury after washing the dishes. If, while washing the dishes, all you think of is eating the peach, what will you be thinking of when you eat the peach?
The clogged inbox, that difficult conversation you’ve been putting off, tomorrow’s to-do list?
The peach is eaten but not enjoyed, and so on we continue through life, victims of a progressively lopsided culture that values achievement over appreciation.”
But let’s get specific.
If we define “achievement” as obtaining things we desire (whether raises, relationships, cars, pets, or otherwise) that have the potential to give us pleasure, then let’s define “appreciation” as our ability to get pleasure out of those things.
To focus on the former to the exclusion of the latter is like valuing cooking over eating.
How then, do we develop the skill of appreciation?
Bear in mind, appreciation is often tied so closely to present state awareness, but not always.
I’ve written and tried (twice) one uncommon path to appreciation, like the 21-day no-complaint experiment, but the most common mainstream prescription is meditation.
The problem with meditation is that it too often gets mixed with mysticism and judgment (attempting to forcefully exclude certain thoughts and emotions).
Who really wants to visualize a candle flame for 30 minutes?
It can work, yes … but it doesn’t work for most.
Here’s where we enter the 60-second solution: gratitude training.
Many scientists have been looking at the far-reaching effects of practicing gratitude just like exercise.
One example, Dr. Robert Emmons of the University of California at Davis and Dr. Michael McCollough of Southern Methodist University in Dallas, Texas:
“The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day… the second group recorded their unpleasant experiences, [and] the last group made a daily list of things for which they were grateful.
The results of the study indicated that daily gratitude exercises resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved.
McCollough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages another… McCullough suggests that anyone can increase their sense of well-being and create positive social effects just from counting their blessings.”
In practical terms, here is one example of how you can test the effects of gratitude training in less than 10 minutes over the next week:
For one week, starting today, ask yourself the following question each morning, immediately upon waking up and before getting out of bed:
What am I truly grateful for in my life?
Aim for five answers, and if you have trouble at first, ask yourself alternative probing questions such as:
What relationships do I have that others don’t?
What do I take for granted?
What freedoms, unique abilities, and options do I have that others don’t?
What advantages have I been given in life?
Which allies and supporters have helped me to get to where I am?
You can use these questions as a system restart and a chance to put your appreciation back on track with your achievement.
And remember … Don’t forget the peach!