As the most evolved species on the planet, humans are granted the ability to experience much more in this life than a genetic drive to find food, find a mate, and procreate for species survival.
Humans have the ability to make choices.
To be the masters of their own fate.
You see it everyday. People who make good decisions and those that make bad ones.
There are many articles on Simple Marriage that discuss how emotions and reactions can impact decisions.
I am not advocating that decisions in life be devoid of emotion, our emotions are another aspect that distinguish us as humans. I am however encouraging that there be a harmony or a balance between thought and emotion.
This brings us to another important aspect in human relationships, the differences between the sexes.
While men and women may share many similarities, they were designed differently.
If you do not believe this, tell me your response to this statement.
A person comes to work in the morning and informs their coworker that they experienced three hours of intimacy with their spouse last night. Now if you are female reacting to a female coworker, your reaction most likely is: “How wonderful, you must have shared a quiet dinner, maybe a romantic walk, talked by candlelight, and really connected on an emotional level.” A male’ s reaction to a male coworker: “Liar.”
As humans, we make meaning out the things that happen to us.
Meanings will influence our reactions.
Many different factors are at work in the process of making meaning from things. But at a deeper level is the fact that you are either male or female. Popular belief surrounds the idea that we are from different planets.
While it is true that men are often more the thinkers while women are the emoters, in most relationships both aspects are present and freely flow between the genders depending on the issue.
Interested in no longer being in a relationship dictated by emotional reactions? No, I am not saying to leave the relationship to make this happen. I am encouraging you to take charge of yourself in your current relationship, which will change your relationship.
Let me explain.
We often react to things instinctually. Doing what we have always done, saying what we’ve always said. This produces results that we know and understand; maybe not enjoy, but at least it’s the devil we know.
Often the known is easier to handle than the unknown.
This time of year is tough for many people because of the unknown surrounding the Holiday’s and a New Year.
A month from now, when routine has set back in, most people breeze through the week. Relationships are the same.
If the state of your current relationship is not what you want it to be; interact differently.
If you are normally the quiet one, speak up. If you are normally the talker, be quiet.
Do something a bit different and see what happens to your reactions.
That’s the point.
It’s not to challenge your partner, it’s to challenge you.
By expanding your ability to react to things differently, you broaden the possibilities of what happens in your life.
The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.
Break free from the routine and make different meanings out of things. There is the potential to be pleasantly surprised with the results.