Have you ever felt like you and your spouse are simply roommates passing each other on your way to work or school?
Have you ever gone a day without touching?
Have you found that a lot of your conversations simply deal with bills and everyday living?
Have you gone days, even weeks without saying, “I love you”?
At some point, we’ve probably all experienced at least one of the above in our marriages. But this is NOT why we got married.
Chances are pretty good that you were married in the first place because he/she was your dream guy/girl.
The honeymoon soon comes to an end and real life sets in. Work, school, bills, and maybe even kids all become part of your marriage. These different pursuits (while necessary and not inherently “bad”) can take up a lot of our time and attention.
Before we know it, we find ourselves living with someone that just helps us pay the bills and raise the kids.
Contrast that to when you were dating and your every thought revolved around your future spouse. It drove your actions. It determined how you spent your free time. It helped you fall in love. It led to you getting married.
There is a solution to finding that spark again or just plain keeping it alive. It starts with being mindful of your spouse.
Basically, it’s about NOT taking your spouse for granted. It’s being grateful for them. It’s actively thinking about them. It’s actively doing things for them and with them.
In other words, it’s living a proactive marriage.
Just like anything else in life, marriage requires our attention to make it grow and flourish. With that in mind, the following is a list of 19 things you can do to be more mindful of your spouse on a daily basis.
- Say “thank you” – good old fashioned genuine gratitude
- Hug – try a two minute hug, full frontal
- Do one of his/her common chores – and don’t point out that you did it
- Drive somewhere together
- Ask how his/her day was and genuinely listen
- Write a secret love note and hide it where he/she will find it later
- Say “please” – good old fashioned manners
- Hold hands
- Read together – preferably right next to each other
- Give him/her a genuine compliment – there’s always something attractive, say it out loud
- Kiss – the 10 Second Kiss works well
- Walk together
- Make his/her favorite dessert
- Meditate on a happy memory of your spouse
- Have meaningful sex
- Go on a date
- Look each other in the eye
- Give him/her a small but thoughtful gift
- Say “I love you” – good old fashioned love
What else would you add to this list?