It’s time to face the facts, we all have some concern about what others think of us. If we didn’t, then the time we spent picking out our clothes, preparing ourselves for going out, worrying about what we drive, or where we live would not take near as long as it does. We also would not watch the TV news shows, visit the gossip sections of the Internet, or look at the magazines in order to know what other people are wearing or doing or who said what to who about what. We would not have the desire to know what other people are doing in order to emulate their life. Hollywood stars would just be other people. No paparazzi or journalists following their every move. It seems that many people are more interested in watching other people live than they are in living their own life. Spectatoring runs rampant.
At some level, we want to be noticed and liked. But when this desire goes beyond living from our core values and dreams, we live life according to others. Namely, our family and friends and coworkers determine our life for us. We spend more time doing what other people want rather than what we want.
A life lived from your deep desires is captured in the word yes. Saying yes assumes you also have the ability to say no. Saying no will claim time, money, schedule, relationships, and family. Saying no is how you can take charge of your life and live more from core values. We have already explored how no is a complete sentence, but to go even further, if you do not have the ability to say no then your yes means nothing.
A life lived from your core is one that is determined more by you than others. It is summed up in the profound statement from the game we used to play as children – hide and go seek. After the person who is “it” finishes counting they will call out, “ready or not, here I come.” When a person living life according to their values comes forward, this is easily recognizable when compared to a society of followers and yes-men.
Most of the time, when a person who is living their dreams is around, others will find them very attractive and appealing. We are impressed by people who have their life in order and are working towards what they desire. Their life looks wonderful. But another funny thing happens when you live like this. The times you are presented with an opportunity that does not fit into your plans and you say no, people who are followers are offended that you would live life on your own terms. That you would make choices based more on what you want rather than what others want from you. But this is the price of living according to core values.
As 2008 rolls on, it is my hope that you will more frequently say to those around you – ready or not, here I come!
Get access to your free marriage library and the SMR Community.
The SMR Community is full of value, void of hype, tailored to your interests whenever possible, never pushy, and always free.
Plus, get several custom eBooks that will help you and your spouse create a better marriage.