While standing in line at the grocery store, look at any of the tabloids and you’re bound to see who’s hooked up with who, who’s having who’s baby, and many other secrets to life and marriage. What’s interesting to me is that in amongst all these Hollywood marriages, relationships and flings there are people who are seeking to find joy and contentment in life. Is that odd to anyone else or just me? Here they are, seeming to have it all, yet very few of them succeed in marriage.
I’ve yet to come across any statistics on this but I’d venture a guess that the divorce rate among celebrities is much higher than the national average. Which makes successful Hollywood marriages as likely as Will Ferrell winning an Oscar for best actor.
To be fair, there are some couples who make it. In an interview with Will Smith he was asked how his marriage has stayed together for 11 years, which is the Hollywood equivalent of 50. His response was something like,
…because we donâ€™t give ourselves the option of NOT being together. We know at some point someoneâ€™s going to say something really offensive or stupid, but we know we are staying together, we donâ€™t give ourselves the option of not being together, so we HAVE to work it out.
This is the simple answer to a lasting marriage. Two people who choose to stay married. Simple eh? Although doesn’t necessarily mean easy.
It all boils down to how you view things. If you expect to get out of marriage at the first sign of trouble, then obviously the marriage won’t last. If, however, you view marriage as a lasting commitment, there will be an increased drive to work through problems.
The onus rests on your shoulders to make the most out of life and marriage. While I’ll grant you that in marriage, there is another party that must choose the marriage as well, you are still responsible for you. If you expect things to be tough today, most likely they will be. If you expect your marriage to be rocky, it will.
I’m not advocating that you donâ€™t examine reality honestly, but more often than not, what we expect out of things becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. By changing your focus or outlook on things, other aspects of life will begin to change as well.
Problems in life and marriage are inevitable, struggling is optional. Improving your ability to improvise, adapt and overcome will allow you to take charge of your life and harness more energy. Rather than spending a lot of time trying to change the wind in your life, adjust your sails.