One of the things I’m often asked by my clients (and readers) is “How do I know when I’m growing up?”
This may seem like a simple question, but if you view relationships (especially marriage) as a people-growing machine, then it can sometimes be hard to keep things in perspective.
I came across this a while ago.
It comes from a small tract published by an Alcoholics Anonymous group from Akron, Ohio. Its author chose to remain anonymous ….
Some of the characteristics of the person who has achieved true adulthood are suggested here:
- He accepts criticism gratefully, being honestly glad for an opportunity to improve.
- He does not indulge in self-pity. He has begun to feel the laws of compensation operating in all life.
- He does not expect special consideration from anyone.
- He controls his temper.
- He meets emergencies with poise.
- His feelings are not easily hurt.
- He accepts the responsibility of his own actions without trying to “alibi.”
- He has outgrown the “all or nothing” stage. He recognizes that no person or situation is wholly good or wholly bad.
- He is not impatient at reasonable delays. He has learned that he is not the arbiter of the universe and that he must often adjust himself to other people and their convenience.
- He is a good loser. He can endure defeat and disappointment without whining or complaining.
- He does not worry about things he cannot help.
- He is not given to boasting or “showing off” in socially unacceptable ways.
- He is honestly glad when others enjoy success or good fortune. He has outgrown envy and jealousy.
- He is open-minded enough to listen thoughtfully to the opinions of others.
- He is not a chronic “fault-finder.”
- He plans things in advance rather than trusting to the inspiration of the moment.
Last of all, we think in terms of spiritual maturity:
- He has faith in a Power greater then himself.
- He feels himself an organic part of mankind as a whole, contributing his part to each group of which he is a member.
- He obeys the spiritual essence of the Golden Rule: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.”
If you’re interested in growing and taking your marriage/life to a better place, stick around.