I used to be a lot like you. I had huge to-do lists, ran myself ragged, and worried endlessly how I was ever going to get everything accomplished because man, I was so busy! It almost was a badge of honor.
I mean, it’s how we answer everyone’s casual greeting of “How ya doing?”
And then one day, I realized something. Busy is often the product of poor aim.
If you have too much to do, it’s often because you’re shooting at too many targets. You’re seeing the entire battlefield and not the objective.
In video games of all kinds, the “world” becomes simplified. In Tetris, you know you’re supposed to get the blocks to fit such that the rows decrease. In Angry Birds, you’re aiming for a three star knockdown of the pigs. In Pac Man? Eat all the dots before the ghosts get you. (Man I’m dating myself with these references :))
Even in more complex games like Overwatch or Fortnite, where the world seems FULL of things to do, there are “things you can shoot at” and there are “objectives.” An objective is a goal to be met, often one that provides a reward. As opposed to the “shoot the bad guys” part of the game, it might be something like “complete a challenge to earn this skin.”
Starting to see the story here?
You are most likely shooting at a lot of things. Instead, seek the actual objective.
This is easy to see in business. If you run a corporate retreat, maybe the objective is 4 successful bookings a month. If you do website design projects, maybe it’s 8 sites completed per month.
Now you’re aiming at something.
At home this idea often feels more nebulous. But is it really?
Play your role
Everything else becomes secondary. “But, I have lots of people calling on me for this and that” or “the kids need to always get from point A to point B there’s just not enough time.” Yep. And if all of those “lots of people” or “point A’s and B’s” aren’t primary to your objective, then YOU are choosing to spend your time (of which you have precious little) on that instead of hitting your target.
Make your path match your target.
Train (learn) to support your goal of hitting your target. Best done in a group with support.
Measure your success at hitting your target.
There are some duties that must be performed that can’t be avoided. And sometimes, some of what we have to do isn’t the core of hitting the target, but it’s just as necessary. For instance, if your goal is to complete 8 site designs a month, but you didn’t INVOICE for that work, and follow up on unpaid invoices, you didn’t really hit the target, did you?
We Waste So Much Energy
You waste energy and time in the following places (just to name a few):
- Keeping up. Stop it.
- Learning random things because they popped up on the screen.
- Wasting time to save money. If you can spend $1000 to make $5000, that’s a win.
- Doing what others want us to do versus serving the people who matter to us.
- Saying yes. ← Stop and stare at this one, then nod that you’re saying yes where you shouldn’t. Often. Too much.
Where’s your focus?
Too often us men aren’t sure what our next step is on the home-front because we haven’t a clue what that even means. Ladies this applies to you as well.
The next round of Man Of His Word Mastermind groups is where you can begin to fine tune your aim.
If you’re interested in learning more or joining a group – email me and let me know.
Know that you are loved, and that what you have to offer the world matters. Especially to those in your home.