“Time with my husband” could now be scratched off my to-do list.
That’s a phrase I use and write more often these days.
I use these terms when I really mean “sex” or “intimacy” with my spouse. That’s right; I sometimes include this along with my checklist of doing laundry, cooking a meal, and reading three book chapters.
Others may view this as an unsexy approach to sex but I’m a realist. Although I have it marked alongside a chore I must do, that doesn’t mean I see intimacy with my husband as an unpleasant task. No, I write it down so I can plan for it. I keep the reminder close by so I remember to include my marriage in my daily routine.
For the past several years, I’ve realized the importance of planning for more quality time with my partner. These three tips have helped me in having better (and more often) relations with my spouse.
Write down time with partner
Writing down achievements helps make goals more official. By me writing down “time with husband” amidst my grocery list, I make a mental reminder that kissing my husband is just as important as buying the milk and bread. My partner is a vital part of my life.
I prefer to have someone to share those ingredients with rather than to be alone watching a romantic comedy of actors making out onscreen. I’m a regular list maker so why not include my husband on a list that I’m glancing at throughout the day, to remind me how lucky I am. I want to thank him for being that special person who assists me in being a better version of myself.
Schedule set hours per week or month
A goal of mine for 2016 is to schedule more time with my spouse. On my New Year’s Resolutions list, I have one that says take one to two hours per month of “annual leave” to enjoy a day or evening date with my husband. My partner and I have both worked at our jobs long enough to enjoy a leisure hour here and there.
Why not make a commitment to take one day a month, leave at 3:00 pm and go have coffee together? Why not plan a late lunch or early dinner just the two of us before we must pick up or kids and start homework for the evening? I will plan for actual, quality time with my spouse even when I’m short on quantity.
Be spontaneous within the constraints
You may be thinking how can love and intimacy be spontaneous when I’m planning for it or dealing with constraints? That’s easy!
I may be scheduling a certain day or hour for my husband but how I approach our intimacy will change each time. Even if we are at home, our love-making and back-rubbing can be switched to a different room. We can also try out a new position or add in a diverse technique. Nothing has to be the same old boring thing, even though we plan for it.
The act doesn’t have to be physical at all either. Simply being together in any form during regular periods will make a marriage stronger and more enjoyable.
I like being with my spouse. Last week we cleaned out a closet together. This was not a very romantic act, but having him with me made the chore more endurable. It made it go by quickly too. We had our favorite music playing while we sorted and organized our things. My husband and I had good conversation too while we worked.
Marriage can be this way all the time with the right approach and attitude. By writing down reminders to think of your spouse, scheduling real opportunities to connect, and finding spur-of-the-moment ways, even within limitations, will make for an enhanced partnership.
Make that the goals in 2016: carved out, thoughtful time with the person you love most.