Top iTunes Marriage Podcast

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hosted by Dr. Corey Allan

Rapid Fire with Longer Answers #527

Come join the conversations in the SMRNation Community at my.smrnation.com

On the Regular version of today’s show …

We recorded an extended rapid fire episode while at the SMR Getaway, only this time we go more in depth with the answers.

On the Xtended version …

Part 2 of the Q and A that happens at the end of the SMR Getaway. This time we go into some deep questions like betrayal and desire differences.

Enjoy the show!

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Got a question?

CALL US 214-702-9565
or email us at feedback@sexymarriageradio.com

Speaker 1: You are listening to the regular version of Sexy Marriage Radio, smrnation.com.

Speaker 2: You've turned on Sexy Marriage Radio, where the best sex happens in the marriage bed. Here's your host, Dr. Corey Allan.

Corey Allan: Well, welcome to another episode of Sexy Marriage Radio. Again, live from the Sexy Marriage Radio Getaway.

Pam Allan: Love it.

Corey Allan: Always so great to have people that hang out with us for the four days we're here, and hang out to listen to us do a show.

Pam Allan: Yeah. It's been greatness.

Corey Allan: Let's be honest, they're hanging out to see you do a show, babe.

Pam Allan: Well, true, true, but what are you going to do?

Corey Allan: I call truth the truth, that works with me. That's what happens in married lives. That's what we're dealing with here at Sexy Marriage Radio is we want to talk about, and help frame conversations, about what goes on in marriage, how to deal with some of the different things that happen, that's what we've been doing all morning, all day yesterday. I'm surprised I still have a voice, but we're rolling right along and just got another day or so left. And everybody goes back with their lives changed.

Pam Allan: Right? Nuggets. We all have nuggets to carry with us.

Corey Allan: That's the hope.

Pam Allan: We get better every day.

Corey Allan: Absolutely, we do. And that's, one way or another life keeps going.

Pam Allan: It does.

Corey Allan: So let's get better as we go, because that's the whole journey that we're trying to do here at Sexy Marriage Radio, is just frame these conversations so that you feel even better with what's happening in your life. And so if you want to let us know what's going on in your life, or topics that we can cover, (214) 702-9565, or feedback@sexymarriageradio.com, or my.smrnation, or Instagram, TikTok, there's everywhere you can find us. And so we're so glad that you're here.
So coming up on today's regular free version of Sexy Marriage Radio is a rapid fire that we're going to do from questions that were left over from Instagram that we just never got to. Because we covered a lot, but we didn't cover them all.

Pam Allan: There were a lot of questions that came in.

Corey Allan: And on these, it might be a little more pseudo cause we might go a little deeper with some of them, because I think some of the content is worth expanding on then just trying to get as fast as we can go through it.
And then on the extended content, which is deeper, longer, and no ads, you can subscribe at smrnation.com/smracademy will be a continuation of the Q&A that took place at the Getaway. It will just, those are some of the questions that happen there live. So if you've missed the Getaway you'll get a little bit of a peak of what was going on, and some of the stuff we cover. Because we here at SMR, whether it's at the Getaway or with the shows, we want to speak to what's going on with the nation's couples.

Pam Allan: That's right.

Corey Allan: Right. We want to answer and help frame it for you because I think that makes all the difference in the world. We can tell you what we think, then it works, what may work in our life, but it doesn't mean it works in theirs.

Pam Allan: Yeah. Life application for each individual situation is what brings it home.

Corey Allan: Absolutely. So all that's coming up on today's show.

Pam Allan: All right. So the first question out of the hat for rapid fire is, what sexy things, this is a wife messaging in, what sexy things can I do during the day to keep the fire in our marriage? So speaking as a husband, what is it, from a man's perspective, what are tidbits?

Corey Allan: How long have we got?

Pam Allan: That you think, right?

Corey Allan: Well, so I hear it as obviously any kind of contact I think makes a difference. Anytime of reaching out beyond logistics makes a difference.

Pam Allan: Contact not just physical.

Corey Allan: Not just physical. Yeah, emotional.

Pam Allan: A text or a phone call.

Corey Allan: A text, a call, I think any kind of a, hey I'm thinking of you, you matter to me. And it's not just logistics or hey, can you get this? Or it's not just part of the dealing with life and the surface. It's the underneath it all. It's the, hey, I remember that. Oh, that was so great, let's re-enact that. It's the, anything that has a tinge of sexual happens. But I think I hear that question as, what can she do, which I think is the answer of, how does she feel sexy? What can she wear that maybe boosts her confidence? What can she wear that makes her feel a little more alluring to herself? And I think you also take influence from husband of what speaks to him. Because some outfits you might have the husband's like, no.

Pam Allan: That does not do it. Is that your reference?

Corey Allan: Right.

Pam Allan: Okay.

Corey Allan: Some outfits you have, he's like, oh yeah, wear those all the time, please.

Pam Allan: It's the whole accelerator break things. Some things are breaks, nothing's happening.

Corey Allan: Right. Stilettos, let's go baby. Bring them on the whole time. But it's just whatever it is that speaks and accents her, that's what matters.

Pam Allan: I didn't realize stilettos were such a thing for you.

Corey Allan: I didn't either, so let's see what happens tonight. How about that, baby?

Pam Allan: I don't have any of those, so I'm going to have to go shopping.

Corey Allan: We are close to all kinds of things here in the Getaway, so you can find it.

Pam Allan: All right. All right, so next question. So I've never orgasmed with my husband. After four years I bought some toys, vibrators, and I've learned that I love them. He doesn't know I have them. How do I go about telling him without making him feel less than, or not enough?

Corey Allan: So this is the classic two choice dilemma. I'm trying to control both sides of the equation. I want to tell you a truth, and control your response. So how does a wife tell a husband, I like this toy and I'm able to accomplish a goal that I haven't been able to with you, without him hearing that as a front of his ability or prowess? You don't. You tell him and he's hurt. That's the reality of life on life's terms. Right? You risk that at least. Maybe he doesn't get hurt by that.

Pam Allan: Maybe he doesn't. I'm thinking of this. Okay, so one of the things you talked about at the getaway this weekend, emptiness and fullness, right? And you're always somewhere on that spectrum with both of them. And you think of her wanting to, maybe she wants to incorporate that with him. She wants to come full circle with this, right? This is something she enjoys. That is the fullness of her wanting to share that,

Corey Allan: That's bringing all of her to him and her experience. Is that what you're saying?

Pam Allan: Right. But then there's this emptiness of, I'm doing it in secret. That's the emptiness side you see.

Corey Allan: And the emptiness of I'm afraid of how he's going to interpret this. And I'm afraid of his reaction because I don't want to hurt him. Because that's a care, but that's also a reflected sense of self.

Pam Allan: Right. So there's positives and negatives in this.

Corey Allan: Yes.

Pam Allan: But you can't keep it hidden. You got to, it's going to come out at some point, so do it on your own terms and not on him finding something.

Corey Allan: Correct, yeah. Because typically the things that we try to hide when they're discovered go far worse, than the things we bring forward of our own volition.

Pam Allan: Yes.

Corey Allan: So recognizing, and again, this is something we've talked about before in past shows and maybe even in rapid fire, because I know I've done this also on the Instagram stories that I do where we answer some questions for readers and followers. What happens when a husband takes and sees a toy as a threat? Because no penis vibrates, pulsates, twists. Whatever a toy can do, no penis can actually do that. So what makes that threatening? Right. Who wants to walk around with a penis that's actually vibrating at times during the day? You know, it's like, that's just going to be annoying. A couple of hands shot up in the room. Okay. Well maybe I'm looking at this all wrong.
But it's also, then the flip side of this is, she doesn't get a chance to hug a toy. She doesn't get the chance to have partnership with a toy. She doesn't get a chance to do life with a toy. No toy can pick up the kids in carpool, right? No one. So yes, it can be a little bit of a hit to your prowess, your ability, the way you view your sexual power. But also, how do you realize that it's not, it can be an ally. It can be an advocate for you. It can be something that's very helpful and beneficial.

Pam Allan: Right, right. I just think of so many people that don't even make an effort to figure out their sexuality, and she's done something to figure out what makes her tick.

Corey Allan: This was a goal she went after and figured it out. So good on her.

Pam Allan: So bring that to the table. Don't be scared of him. Don't be scared of yourself either.

Corey Allan: Right. Recognize hurt can happen, but you can handle it.

Pam Allan: Right. Next question. Totally kind of different. When is the right age to teach your kids about sex?

Corey Allan: From the moment they start breathing.

Pam Allan: Right. When you start, when they start talking, right. And you're teaching them appropriate words to use.

Corey Allan: Right.

Pam Allan: Let them know what anatomy is and what the real words are.

Corey Allan: That's how it starts. It's medically appropriate terms. It's a penis, not a PP, a TT, a wewe, it's a penis. And it's a vulva or vagina. Vagina is actually part of the vulva, if you're talking the whole thing. But it's proper terms. It's not down there. It's, use the terminology that helps. Then as they progress, then you get into the child developmental side of the brain. That a lot of times when you're talking about, when do I have the talk, which is the birds and the bees talk that I think they're probably asking, you're setting the groundwork with it. With the conversations you're having about the subject and their own body. I still remember our son, dad, it was in the bathroom, he was little, and he was trying to go to the bathroom and he had an erection and he couldn't pee into the toilet.
And he was like, dad, why does it do that? Well, eventually you're going to really like that it does that, son. It's a really good thing, that means it's normal. You're doing great. But I realized it's also really annoying when you really got pee. Yeah, it does. I get it. Do you need to go in the bathroom, you want to go to the backyard and pee? Yeah. And so he just shot it out into the yard.
But it's just proper terminology makes a difference. And then around seven or eight, nine, depending on kid, is when abstract thinking starts to enter their mind. That's typically when you want to have the talk as it begins, because again, it's not a talk, it's a conversation. Right?

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: And so it evolves where you talk through, here's the basics of what's going on. And then I love the idea, from that point forward, you've already been incorporating this, some hopefully, but from that point forward you take advantage of teachable moments. You're watching a movie together, you're watching a show, you drive peat a billboard, you pause and you say, what's the message they're sharing there? What's going on with that? What do you suppose about that? Then you have a chance to impart some of your values that you want to add to it.

Pam Allan: Yeah. Well, and starting at a young age with the terminology and those things takes out some of it embarrassment about it. I mean, if the first time I'm talking to my daughter about sex and sexuality is when she's already an adolescent and she's hearing stuff from her friends, it'd be awkward for me and for her. Because she's already embarrassed, that's not something we've talked about in the past

Corey Allan: And she would sense that awkwardness coming from you.

Pam Allan: Yeah. And if she's sensing that her parent is uncomfortable with it, well then she's going to be uncomfortable with it. But there are, and there was another question in here about resources.

Corey Allan: Okay. Table that just real quick because I will answer that on what are the resources that we've used and what we really love. But the other thing to think about is, for anybody that's listening, anybody that's in the audience that has not had this kind of conversation or frankness with your child, and you're freaking out thinking about doing this and having this conversation, that's your big, bold takeaway is, I'm leaving the Getaway and telling my kids about sex. Sweet. Realize they're going to recognize the awkwardness. So sometimes your opening statements going to be, okay, this is an awkward conversation we're going to have and I'm freaking out having it with you, but I'm going to do the best I can. Here we go.

Pam Allan: This is important.

Corey Allan: You kind of acknowledge the elephant in the room. Kind of acknowledge the dynamic that's going on, because I think that's how we move forward. What we used in our relationship with our kids, I had a colleague in my grad school program that when the baby shower she gave the book, Sydney's First Book on Sex. That's how she called it. And it's by a guy named, Peter Mayle, M-A-Y-L-E. And it was, Where Did I Come From? That's the name of the book. You can find it on Amazon. It's really easy. It's millions of copies have been sold of this thing.

Pam Allan: It's fabulous.

Corey Allan: And what it is, is it's anatomically correct pictures.

Pam Allan: Cartoons.

Corey Allan: That are cartoon. Right. But it's, it's real male body and it's real female body and it's real life. And it walks through the stages of what's going on in your body, and walks through the stages of intercourse.

Pam Allan: And pregnancy.

Corey Allan: And pregnancy and how it all works and how a baby evolves in the different trimesters and the months and everything. And it's real involved. So we started when she was young, we started just looking at pictures and talking about the pictures in it.

Pam Allan: She was two.

Corey Allan: We would just look at the pictures. I still remember having a conversation with her, and she comes running into the room because you were in our bedroom reading a book or something, and she comes running and pulls her diaper down, mommy, mommy, I have a vagina.
That's great, honey. Do you have one too? Yeah. Can I see it? No. You can't. That's not for you baby. But you know, but it's just that kind of concept that you want to a calmness that can happen. And so that book's a great framework. And then when we hit, when she hit eight, on her birthday we read the book. I still remember that, it was right around it. We read the entire book. And it's very frank about what goes on with sex. If you want to fast forward beyond that into adolescence, then you get another book that was a follow-up by him called, What's Happening to Me? And this is adolescence.

Pam Allan: To me now. What's happening to me now?

Corey Allan: What's happening to me now?

Pam Allan: I think so.

Corey Allan: Either one.

Pam Allan: Because it's the next step.

Corey Allan: It's close enough.

Pam Allan: Whatever.

Corey Allan: Right. Either one. But it's the idea of, from there he starts getting into puberty, adolescence, wet dreams, masturbation, acne, what's happening with your body, just all of it.
And so it starts as a framework to talk about all the other things. And so for anybody that's in the nation that wants more of a Christian bent, these aren't that, but they are medical. You add it yourself.

Pam Allan: It's just straightforward.

Corey Allan: It's just straightforward data that's helpful. You add the value to it. Because this is a subject that we need to do better as, as parents, because that's where the information needs to come from. Because kids' brains are sponges and I want ours to be so full. What the world's offering out there, there's no room for it. Okay?
So Pam, our sponsor today is someone, a company that's near and dear to our hearts.

Pam Allan: Yes they are.

Corey Allan: Hello Fresh because they've been in our home for many, many months now. And they've taken a lot of the burden and angst that would come around meal time, more specifically, what are we going to eat? And variety being on display in the Allan household. They've taken that and made it so easy. Because Hello Fresh provides everything we need right at our doorstep.

Pam Allan: They've opened up your palette.

Corey Allan: They really have. And what's so much fun is we do this altogether as we're creating the meals. Because it comes in, it's all pre-measured, it's exactly what you need. You get to pick from, usually around 14 different recipes each week. You pick and select which ones you want that fit. You can add some add-ons like some garlic bread, or some extra protein or some desserts, even if you want to, to make it even easier. But what the fun thing is, is way it's come out in our household is, oftentimes the party has already begun when you are walking in because the cooking is starting. Kids may be involved.

Pam Allan: Yeah, you guys are already chopping up veggies and whatever.

Corey Allan: You come join in and then we have a meal together as a family. And then every single meal, we rate them as a family. And only one for each of the kids has rated below like a seven. And that was just because they didn't like the actual entree, not the taste of it.

Pam Allan: It was so good.

Corey Allan: They just didn't like what it was that we chose that week.

Pam Allan: Because they're kids. Most of them are like all nines and tens.

Corey Allan: Right. So Hello Fresh is convenient. It's contact free delivery, right to your door. The recipes are easy to follow. They give you pictures to guide you all along the way. They take the stress out of everything you need to do each and every week to feed your family. And they're flexible. You can customize it like we mentioned. You can easily change your delivery days or food preferences. You can skip a week, which we've had to do several different times with our schedules. And with Hello Fresh we are proud to have them as a regular sponsor right now. So go to hellofresh.com/smr14, and use the code SMR14 for up to 14 free meals, plus free shipping.

Pam Allan: Wow, that's a deal.

Corey Allan: In case you missed it, that's hellofresh.com/smr14, the number 14, and use our code SMR14 for up to 14 free meals plus free shipping.

Pam Allan: All right, next question, is my husband still attracted to me if he can't keep it up during sex?

Corey Allan: So an erect penis or a flacid penis usually has nothing to do with attractiveness. I think. I mean, I think a lot of times there's a lot more going on in his head and anxiety that can be happening there. There can be some physical issues that happen, depending on age and circumstances, and diet and health. And there's a lot of things. And so anytime we're talking about sexual function on the male side, one of the big things to do right off the bat is go get a physical. Make sure the blood work is good. Make sure testosterone levels are good. Make sure everything's functioning as it should. Because medical science has come up with some great resources that can help move past some of these things. But a majority of the people I see it's anxiety. It's what's going on in your head.

Pam Allan: It has nothing to do about the other person in the bedroom.

Corey Allan: So it's usually you lose it in your head. You get distracted. You get the, because any of us that have had any kind of issue that's an erectile premature ejaculation, a delayed ejaculation, any kind of male sexual issue, when it happens once, always deep in the back of your head is when is it going to happen again? And so it's the same kind of thing.
Ladies, I'm assuming you have a similar thing of, I had this time where I had this rhythm and a rhythm, and a rhythm and I lost it. And now in the back of my head is, okay, it's building, it's building and when's it going to lose it? When is it going to go sideways? And that's the weird nature of our psyche. That those suckers get in there and it is hard to derail them at times. So I'm a believer in, relax. If he loses his erection, go back to what you were doing before. See if you can re-engage him. See if you can connect. See if there's other things. And if you still haven't reached your climax ma'am, he has digits that are always moveable. He has a tongue that likely works too. There's toys that are typically reliable. So incorporate other ways and see if maybe he catches back up then.

Pam Allan: Perfect. So I feel like I'm cute, silly, and fun, but not sexy. It just feels awkward. How do I overcome that?

Corey Allan: Tell me what you hear in this Pam, because I hear a pretty deep embedded script. That sexy is bad, or shameful or guilty. Because I feel cute and vibrant and some of those things, but it can't, she can't transition it to sexy. Because I think the connotation of that word, in the way I hear it, has a bad meaning.

Pam Allan: Okay. I don't hear it that way.

Corey Allan: How do you hear it?

Pam Allan: I just hear it as, I don't feel sexy. It's a different state of mind that maybe I just don't feel like I have that flare, that passion. Or, I don't know. To me, that's the script of advertising. There is a script of advertising.

Corey Allan: What we're being bombarded with?

Pam Allan: What sexy is supposed to look like. And if I don't feel like I'm someone that is seductive, that's how I read it, is I'm not seductive. I don't have that.

Corey Allan: Okay.

Pam Allan: Well, I don't even know the word to put on it other than that.

Corey Allan: That prowess?

Pam Allan: Yeah. Yeah. I don't see myself that way. And so how do I become that way?

Corey Allan: So then what are, I guess for her, and be the voice of her maybe for a second.

Pam Allan: Okay.

Corey Allan: If you see yourself as cute and silly and fun, what is the threshold that makes it to where that can't spin into something a little more erotic, or a little more with the sexual undertones, or a little more of just something? That it's not, because maybe it's going too far of, well, if I'm not hyper aggressive with this, or if I'm not all kinds of swagger walking down the street in my stilettos, then it's not sexy.

Pam Allan: Maybe she likes Birkenstocks, and that's the thing. And that's her vision.

Corey Allan: Hey, granola is sexy.

Pam Allan: Exactly.

Corey Allan: I will own that one.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: But it's just that idea of, okay, what is it that helps her transition that to a different manner of her being? Because she's already got a foundation, now it's just steering it slightly. And maybe she's trying to go too far rather than see if you enhance cute there's a sexual undertone in that.

Pam Allan: Yeah. And that's what I'm thinking. If it's along the lines that I'm reading this, a seductive mindset is this, a different undertone. But you can totally take, I can be fun, cute, and turn that into sexy. I mean, how am I, okay, we referenced this earlier, how often am I leaning over and just flashing my boobs at him?

Corey Allan: Not enough.

Pam Allan: Right? That's a sexy move.

Corey Allan: Yes.

Pam Allan: But I don't have to be sultry in that, right?

Corey Allan: Yes, right.

Pam Allan: I'm just being fun and playful, and that is sexy.

Corey Allan: Absolutely. That's the subtleties where sexy and sexuality really resides well.

Pam Allan: Confidence, I think is the word that this lady maybe wants to replace with sexy, because confidence can be sexy.

Corey Allan: So you take the thing she already sees herself as an enhanced those suckers with confidence, and now we're getting closer to the sexy.

Pam Allan: Heck yeah.

Corey Allan: I got that, that's good. I like it.

Pam Allan: Okay. All right. So as my marriage's sex life improves, how do we keep the momentum going?

Corey Allan: Well, one, you keep listening to every single episode of Sexy Marriage Radio.

Pam Allan: Agreed.

Corey Allan: Okay. The other, I think one of the things that you recognize, we develop and progress in stages. We cannot sustain a constant upward momentum. It's not possible as people, right? So we grow and gain a little bit of ground and then we take a little step backwards. And then we grow and gain a little more ground, and then we take a little step backwards. But overall it's like the stock market. Where eventually it keeps going up even with big dips or hits, or things that happen, right?

Pam Allan: Right. As I cross my fingers on the stock market.

Corey Allan: Yeah, there's a lot of other things tied to that, but it's still just recognizing. The natural part of us developing is sometimes I have to consolidate gains, and I will regress a little bit. And then I'll grow a little bit more and then I'll consolidate those gains and I'll regress a little bit. And I grow a little bit more. So you realize, this is what we've said here at the getaway a couple different times, and maybe even set on the show in the past, but I have a definition of what comprises a great marriage is, it's people that recover well. Because life is still going to happen. Sexual encounters aren't always going to go through flawlessly. Right? You're going to have times where you try some move and it totally bombs.
And it's like, she's like, what are you doing? I thought it would be fun, I'm sorry. And then you have to reconnect, reestablish and keep going. When we're younger, in our developmental process, that kind of a move bombing ends the equation completely. You don't come back to it. Because not everything we do and try works, and so sometimes it's like, I look at it as the different times we've done shows or conferences. Or I've put together a talk or other things we've done where it's like, that did not start the way I thought it would, but it ended well. Right? We recovered and look at that. Yay us. That's good.

Pam Allan: And it was a giant win. And you recognize the win right then in that situation.

Corey Allan: Yes. That's a consolidating of the gain. That's good.

Pam Allan: How do you improve desire in the low drive spouse during a stressful and busy season?

Corey Allan: As you gaze for me to answer that question for you? You wrote that in didn't you? That's from hot CPA. Yeah, that's from. Okay, so first off, the best question, assuming this is coming from?

Pam Allan: It's a mom.

Corey Allan: Okay. So she's asking this of herself, how do, as she's claiming the low desire stance. Because I hear that as maybe the higher desire is asking that question.

Pam Allan: I'm taking it that it is a female asking this of herself for the low desire, but I don't know. She could be asking about her husband.

Corey Allan: If she's the one, let's answer it both ways then. Let's answer it as the low desire asking the question of how do I increase and improve my desire during stress and busy-ness. So one of those can be like what we did before. How are you conducting yourself? Just like we did at the beginning of the show today. How are you conducting yourself that enhances your vibrancy, your power, your prowess, that parts of you?

Pam Allan: Yeah. Because it's not like you don't know it's a stressful and busy season. You're aware of that.

Corey Allan: That should not be new news. Yes.

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: So some is, how do you start the day? What do you do to take care of yourself? Self-care is healthcare, right? How are you looking out for your wellbeing? How you're putting yourself to have more margin in your life where you can? Some of it also is recognizing, you know what, this has been our journey during tax seasons. Especially the year and a half long we just finished. Some of it is just like, hey look, I know this is just the reality of where we are. Okay, so I need to adjust my expectations and my outlook, you need to adjust yours and then we figure out how do we deal with it?
Coming at it from the other side, what if the high desire low is asking this question of, look, I know I'm going to be busy so how do I, or I know they're going to be busy, so how do I keep them engaged? Well, you don't. You be somebody that's worth engaging with.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: You be a good student and create margin for them.

Pam Allan: Right. Reset expectations, like you just said. I mean, both sides have to reset expectations. As the high desire, I guess one of the things that I appreciate from you is, you point it out. You say, okay, we need some time. I'm taking you away tonight. When this person, whenever their stressful and busy season is, I don't know, does it last six months? Does it last a year? There's got to be a time in there that you take time away.

Corey Allan: Right.

Pam Allan: Right. And it doesn't have to be an entire weekend because maybe you can't afford that time. Maybe it's three hours, maybe it's four hours.

Corey Allan: Maybe it's a Sonic happy hour cherry limeade that you just dropped by with their office.

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: That you're stealing time. And those are connections and those are moments. And then it's off to do what you're doing. But it's just recognizing what's my side of this equation as a higher desire. That's all I can control on this. So how am I being somebody that's inviting a connection opportunities, and creating margin where I can for my lower desire partner to be cleaner on the pressure between us?

Pam Allan: Gotcha.

Corey Allan: So I'm curious, Pam, your experience with this of rapid fire just trying to get through as fast as we can, versus rapid fire and expanding a little bit more? Is it better if I'm fast or slow?

Pam Allan: It depends on if it's busy season or not.

Corey Allan: Well played my love.

Pam Allan: They both have their place.

Corey Allan: Yes, they do. Sometimes you just don't have time and it's enough already and you got to get some sleep.

Pam Allan: Got to get some sleep.

Corey Allan: I get ya. Well, this has been Sexy Marriage Radio. If we left something undone, or you want us to expand a little bit more, let us know. (214) 702-9565, or as always, feedback@sexymarriageradio.com. So however you took some time out this week to listen, thanks for taking a little bit of time with us. And we hope to see you again soon. See you next time.