Top iTunes Marriage Podcast

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hosted by Dr. Corey Allan

Role Playing#448

Registration for the 2020 Sexy Marriage Radio Getaway is open. Save your spot by clicking here.

On the Regular version of today’s show …

Welcome to 2020. Join us as we go through our 3 words for the year. What are yours?

An email from a listener wondering how to get his wife more comfortable with lingere and role playing.

On the Xtended version …

A voicemail about how gender roles and egalitarian roles impact married life and sex.

Enjoy the show!

 

Like this show? Please leave us a review here — even one sentence helps someone else in their relationships!  

Got a question?


Call/Text us at  214-702-9565

or email us at feedback@sexymarriageradio.com

Corey Allan: Welcome to 2020.

Pam Allan: Yeah, Happy New Year, everyone.

Corey Allan: This is a big time, a brand new year, great things on the horizon.

Pam Allan: Yeah, looking forward to the new year.

Corey Allan: If you are curious about this year's Sexy Marriage Radio getaway, registration is happening right now. As of today, it's open to anybody that wants to come. Join us June 18th through 21st in the Dallas-Fort Worth area. You're going to go to smr.fm/getaway to read about what's going on, register, save your spot. We've got some very cool things that are going to happen, one of which is going to be Denis Merkas of Melt, is planning to join us to lead us through a couples' massage training for a couple of hours one afternoon.

Pam Allan: I'm so looking forward to that.

Corey Allan: ... where you get a chance to get your hands on your spouse in a good massage way and learn the right techniques from the guy himself, live during the time at the getaway. This is also going to be the last getaway that we do in this current format, so if you've been wanting to come and haven't yet, come before it goes away. And if you've come before, we're still doing new content, so it's worth coming back.

Pam Allan: Absolutely.

Corey Allan: So smr.fm/getaway is how you can join us in June. Hope you sign up because we will fill up. And also, to the Sexy Marriage Radio Nation, we're looking forward to another great year and all that's coming, because we love hearing from you and whatever's going on in your world. The way we do that is either you call in and leave a voicemail, which is 214-702-9565 or you email us at feedback@sexymarriageradio.com. And then what we ask of you, as Sexy Marriage Radio Nation members is if you haven't yet jumped on iTunes and left a review, or Spotify, or Stitcher or Google Play or however you choose to find us, please jump on and rate and review the show, leave a comment, help us climb the charts in the sexuality category so that 2020, we get the message as far as possible, that the best sex happens in the marriage bed and life just gets better as marriage gets better and vice versa, all the way around.

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: So coming up on today's regular free version of the show is a couple of topics that we've got to cover from emails that have come in and then just a topic that we regularly do to start off every year, and then on the extended version of the show, which is twice as long, deeper, and there's no ads, you can subscribe and learn more at smr.fm. We have a voicemail that's come in that starts a conversation about what about gender roles when it comes to sexual satisfaction and power and the dynamics that can play out in marriage.

Pam Allan: Legit questions, legit ... yeah.

Corey Allan: We're going to answer your question in the extended and go deep with it, and so if you're not a member of the extended content, I'll be reaching out to you offline, off air, if you will, so that you get the answer from us. But that's where we're going to go, is your voicemail today. So all that's coming up on today's show.

Corey Allan: Pam, one of the things we've regularly done at the beginning of every year is an idea that I came across from Chris Brogan, who he has been doing rather than New Year's resolutions, he does a thing called Three Words, which we've talked about this kind of leading up, because it takes a while to get it started. And so, I want to say a shout-out to anybody that's in the academy that we've had this conversation with in the past. Now that it's January 1st, if you jump into the episode channel and share your three words if you're joining us. We'll put ours in there. But the difference of a three-word mantra going forward rather than a New Year's resolution is it broadens your focus for the year, but it still keeps it narrow and on task. Is that kind of a good way to think of it?

Pam Allan: It seems a little like a juxtaposition, but yeah, yeah-

Corey Allan: Juxtaposition, good word.

Pam Allan: Thank you ... broadened but narrow.

Corey Allan: But narrow, right.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: Well, because the difference with a New Years-

Pam Allan: But I'm in agreement with you. [crosstalk 00:04:46]

Corey Allan: The New Year's resolution idea is it's a one-trick thing. It's like I'm seeking to lose weight. I'm going to work out more. I'm going to focus ... It does something. And the proverbial joke is you make your New Year's resolution January 1st, and by January 15th, it's done.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: Right? And so, Chris Brogan posited the idea of come up with three words that capture an idea of your focus and your goals and your energies going forward into the new year. I've been doing this, the words that I've kind of tracked, I've been doing since 2016. And so, we wanted to spend the first segment just talking about our words for a little bit, because if you're new to this idea, you don't want to do "write a book." That's three words, but that's not ... That's "a" is a useless word in that regard. Right?

Pam Allan: Sure. Sure.

Corey Allan: So, it's really words that are actionable, a little more specific as far as a global idea, and they're something that help you measure it. And the power to me of this whole exercise is since 2016 of doing this as a goal every year, is it really has helped shape what Sexy Marriage Radio has become, what our family does, what our marriage does, and what my life, my personal life is.

Pam Allan: Yeah, you've been pretty intentional with the things that you've picked each year and keep them visible every day so that they're constant reminders to, hey, how am I supposed to ... How am I choosing to live my life this year?

Corey Allan: Right. Right.

Pam Allan: And I think with a lot of things, when you choose to do something along those lines for an extended period of time, it just becomes part of you moving forward.

Corey Allan: Right. And what I do with this is every year, I've put up a wallpaper on my computer and the words are within that. It's always a picture of some place we've gone the year prior, and then I put my three words on there, so every time I get on on my computer, which is every single day, I see them. It just helps me shape what I'm doing and what my focus is. Like, for 2019, the word streamline was one of my words. I got so much out of that word. It produced so much good for me, because I found myself streamlining and saying no to a lot of things, because I was trying to just really focus on what do I do really well, and just do that. Don't add a whole lot to it.

Pam Allan: Yeah. Well, what did you pick for 2020?

Corey Allan: For 2020, and then I'll explain here just a little bit behind each word, too, so my three words are embrace, movement, and impact.

Pam Allan: Okay.

Corey Allan: Okay? So embrace, I got to give a shout-out to one of the guys in a Mastermind group. That's his word, so I appreciate you, dude. I'm stealing it.

Pam Allan: Well, this is where iron sharpens iron.

Corey Allan: Absolutely.

Pam Allan: When we're in community, we feed off each other.

Corey Allan: Absolutely. And Masterminds definitely are ironing sharpen irons. Yeah, you know I just totally flipped that all the way around.

Pam Allan: Easy for you to say. That's okay.

Corey Allan: But the idea of embrace is I'm married to a woman who is a much more adventure seeker type than I am. It's humbling to say that, because I've always thought I was pretty out there and go with the flow and, "Yeah, let's do that, oh yeah." You know? But it's becoming apparent, I'm not, compared to my wife. And so, one of the ideas with embrace is I want to embrace the opportunities better. I want to try to see them and get out of my typical, "No, I don't want to do that," and just embrace it, lean into it. And then the other thing is that embrace fits is when I'm going down the path of the things that we have to do in life that are just part of the necessity of responsibilities, how do I embrace those better and make something good out of them and just kind of reframe how I approach it. And so, I'm trying to embrace my tasks better.

Pam Allan: Okay.

Corey Allan: Okay? Movement is a ... I'm using this more in the physical fitness health aspect of this is a year of I've just got to move more. I need to be involved in more movement.

Pam Allan: I think that's a good way to look at it instead of I got to lose weight. It's just doing something.

Corey Allan: Just move. Just have some action.

Pam Allan: Do something. Move.

Corey Allan: That's where I love it because I think of Sexy Marriage Radio Nation as a movement, and so this is still kind of fits in there, a focus on the movement, focus on what are we doing, what's the larger message, which then dovetails perfectly into the last one is impact. I want to be a part of things and create things that create impact in this world for us and for others. And so, with Sexy Marriage Radio Nation, my hope is the things that roll out that we already have in mind with this year's getaway and then what's following it, is just designed to help create greater, deeper, lasting impact. So that's my three. So you're joining me this time, Pam, I've heard.

Pam Allan: I'm joining you. Usually I just do one word, because sometimes I just get overwhelmed with too many things. My plan was to do three as of the airing of this show. I only have two words so far. Okay?

Corey Allan: Okay, well, perfect.

Pam Allan: I'm sharing the two words that I have.

Corey Allan: And that's a good addendum, because you can always add to, and you can always just go with one. Right?

Pam Allan: Be flexible.

Corey Allan: There's not a set, this is what you have to do. The one thing Chris Brogan has found is the time he has done four words, a less impactful year. It was too many.

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: So three seems to be the sweet spot as far as a maximum.

Pam Allan: Yeah. So honestly, more than likely, I'm sticking with these two, but we'll see.

Corey Allan: Perfect.

Pam Allan: My first one is listen. And really, that one came from when I was reading the book, Never Split the Difference, and realizing how often ... equating that to my own life and realizing how often I'm not listening, and whether that be at home with my family or more specifically with my clients, even when I'm meeting someone for the first time, I've found that I catch myself trying to complete these peoples' sentences, and it's my first hour of meeting them. And I realized, what I am I doing? This is ridiculous. I need to listen to other people and what comes with that, I think is going to be beneficial.

Corey Allan: That's a good one. Yeah, that's a good one.

Pam Allan: My second word I kind of laugh at, but I think is powerful for me, is just the word no.

Corey Allan: Okay.

Pam Allan: N-O.

Corey Allan: N-O, yeah, that's a good distinction.

Pam Allan: N-O, because I'm terrible at saying no to things, and I've got to ... It's more of a boundary setter in realizing I don't have to say yes to everything, that I need to prioritize and not be concerned with disappointing someone else because I can't do XYZ volunteer thing for them or whatever ... focus on where I can spend my time best, so the word no.

Corey Allan: That's it. I like that, because the idea, what jumps to my mind here, and you talked through that, Pam, is those of us out there, because I think we all struggle with the yes, I want to just be a part of things. I don't want to turn down opportunity. I don't want to miss the ... you know?

Pam Allan: Yeah, fear of missing out.

Corey Allan: ... which leads to a lot of yes. Every yes is a no to something. Right?

Pam Allan: Right. It's a no to time with the family, and that's what I think I end up getting-

Corey Allan: And so flipping that to being no, every no is a yes to something. Right?

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: Because you're claiming time for what matters.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: So I'm excited to see where this one leads, unless the no's coming at me, then I don't know if I'll like that one as much.

Pam Allan: That's funny.

Corey Allan: Okay, so we've even got our kids doing this, and I love it, because we're recording this before January 1st, obviously, because these don't go out on the same day they air. And our daughter's not sharing hers with us because it's not January 1st, and so she's not ... But this is something I'm kind of excited to see as a family, because we're going to try to ... We'll put all the words in a central location so that way we see them, and maybe we can help encourage one another, or at least ask the questions of, "Hey, how's the no world coming? How's the listen world coming? Or how's the impact world ..." you know?

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: And just some of those. And maybe that'll help, just I'm excited to see what happens with our family this coming year.

Pam Allan: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it, too.

Corey Allan: Because the thing also I love about this whole philosophy is this is all-encompassing of our life, right? It's professional. It's personal. It's spiritual. It's relational. I mean, so all of those can help fit. And if you adopt this, we'd love to hear. Feedback to sexymarriageradio.com. What are your words? And put them in places that are prominent so you see it, and then check back in with us on how's it going with that. What have you noticed? Because I'm hoping this coming year had the same as this past year with my words, because man, by month two, streamline had already done so much for me. I'd cleaned out a closet, gotten rid of a bunch of clothes and stuff, took care of a bunch of digital clutter, and just streamlining some stuff. It was fantastic on the results, so we want to hear what you have.

Corey Allan: An email came in. It's been in the inbox for a little while, and so we're finally getting to it. Colby, I apologize that this has been sitting in there for a while. But, it just says, "Hey, Dr. Allan, my name's Colby. I've recently found your podcast, and have been binge listening ever since. I don't know if you ever talked about role playing in the bedroom, but I was wondering your thoughts. My wife of eight years and I have had a few conversations about bringing a spark back into the bedroom. I'm the higher-desire partner, and it felt like our sex life has gotten a bit routine and boring. I brought up the idea of role play with my wife, which was accepted, but with some hesitation.

Corey Allan: "I enjoy it when my wife puts on lingerie, and the thought that a bit of role play would also spice things up. However, my wife has a strong dislike for lingerie, which is where her hesitation for the idea comes from. She has expressed that she's not confident in her own skin and thinks that I will not like what she looks like. This couldn't be farther from the case. After all this time together, and with four kids, I never once thought my wife was anything less than beautiful. I've tried to convince her of this every way I can think of. Do you have any ideas on how I can convince her that she's a gorgeous so that she'll feel more comfortable to wear more lingerie and role play? Thanks for any feedback, and keep up the awesome podcasts."

Pam Allan: Okay, so he's supposed to boost her. Okay, there's got to be people that have come into your office in this scenario, and from my amateur point of view, I think there's no way one person can boost someone else up enough-

Corey Allan: Right.

Pam Allan: ... to make them think that ... make them comfortable in their own skin.

Corey Allan: It's not his responsibility to help her to make her comfortable in her own skin. That's hers.

Pam Allan: All right.

Corey Allan: He can be an asset or an ally to it, right?

Pam Allan: Absolutely.

Corey Allan: Because coming out, going, "Oh, wow, that's hideous," that's going to not help.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: Right? But ultimately, it is on her shoulders. I hear his question, though. Actually, it's two things, right?

Pam Allan: Okay. What two things?

Corey Allan: Because one is the idea of her being own her comfort in her own skin to wear more suggestive lingerie-type of things. The other is role play. I don't necessarily put those two together.

Pam Allan: Oh, I would agree with you there. Right?

Corey Allan: Right? Because it's not at all a shock that a woman or even a man, that's not comfortable in their own skin, is probably not going to be comfortable in role play scenarios.

Pam Allan: I would agree with that.

Corey Allan: Because that's acting.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: And so, when you look at that, that does stretch a lot of people, that they have a real hard time being something that feels fake, because they don't feel good themselves.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: Right? And so there's this element of ... I hear two different questions in here.

Pam Allan: Okay, and maybe he thinks it's all one question.

Corey Allan: I think they feed off each other. Right?

Pam Allan: Yeah, I'm curious how tied is he to the lingerie piece. Is there something else that he likes her more in that maybe she feels a little more comfortable in?

Corey Allan: Sure.

Pam Allan: Like, I don't know, maybe just wearing his shirts, his clothing is something she'd be more comfortable in that maybe is a turn-on to him.

Corey Allan: True. Maybe so. And there's a little more security in that because of coverage or whatever.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: Because it, again, this is-

Pam Allan: I don't feel like I have to look like a Victoria Secret model, but I can still be sassiness.

Corey Allan: Right, because this is one of those things that how you wear it is what matters more than what you wear.

Pam Allan: Oh, that's a great point.

Corey Allan: Right?

Pam Allan: Yes.

Corey Allan: What do you feel as far as the comfort and the allure and the power with what you've got on rather than I'm just doing this for you, and it's coming across timidly or sheepishly, or the scenario of, "I'll put on the lingerie, but all the light's got to be off, and then I'll come out and I'll ..." you know? I mean, it's like-

Pam Allan: Right. What's the point?

Corey Allan: Okay. Does it really serve the purpose of it?

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: But there is a element of getting to a point, and I'll say this I guess more for her ears, whether she listens or not, and maybe this could be relayed, but there is an element of when we're trying to move into an arena of our life that we're not comfortable in, it's going to be awkward and insecure and anxiety-provoking. And so, then it comes into how do I learn to lean into that step to realize I'm okay with this? Because I think you can trust your gut to get to the point where when you reach the point where it's like, "You know what? No. This goes against what I'm comfortable with." Because there's a variety of different types of lingerie out there, too.

Pam Allan: True. True.

Corey Allan: Right? Some are much more alluring, seductive. And some are just flat-out here you go.

Pam Allan: Skanky?

Corey Allan: There's very little bit. I wasn't going to go with some of the words, and I'm glad you did. Thank you. So it's realizing some of the tastes might fit one of you but not the other.

Pam Allan: How long-

Corey Allan: The husband might want the more skanky feel, and she's like, "No, but I'll do the seductive."

Pam Allan: Yeah, maybe so. How long did they say they've been married?

Corey Allan: Eight years.

Pam Allan: Eight years?

Corey Allan: With four children.

Pam Allan: With four kids.

Corey Allan: So they've got some life with them going on in their marriage, for sure.

Pam Allan: They do. I'm making an assumption that married eight years, that they're potentially younger in life. I'm assuming it's not a-

Corey Allan: That's probably an okay assumption.

Pam Allan: ... a second marriage and older. Right?

Corey Allan: Yeah.

Pam Allan: And I think a lot of women get more comfortable in their skin as they get older, too. Right?

Corey Allan: True.

Pam Allan: And so, some of that, many times, comes with longevity and being more okay with just, "Hey, we're just being real with one another."

Corey Allan: Right.

Pam Allan: I think some of that comes with time, too, so hopefully he has some encouragement potentially from that.

Corey Allan: Right.

Pam Allan: And a lot of that's his continued integrity in making her feel like the queen, right?

Corey Allan: Yeah.

Pam Allan: And being consistent on how he look-

Corey Allan: Yeah, consistency matters.

Pam Allan: Consistency on how he comes after her.

Corey Allan: What you say, how you say it matters, because there is this element. And this is that precarious section of how I say something to my spouse, I can't boost them up, but I can definitely deflate them.

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: Right? And so, it's walking that line of I'm going to be straightforward with what I believe, what I love, what I like, because he's saying he's totally into her, totally loves the way she looks, and so continue to live that. Continue to say that. Her believing it is a different animal altogether.

Pam Allan: I think if he's consistent, ideally, that ends up sinking into her.

Corey Allan: I think it-

Pam Allan: I think it does end up sinking into her and it goes a long way.

Corey Allan: Right.

Pam Allan: That doesn't happen overnight.

Corey Allan: But a lot of times, tell me if I'm wrong with this as a wife and a women, babe-

Pam Allan: Okay.

Corey Allan: ... that as a husband that's in this scenario, me saying it is one thing, but me constantly saying it and living it is another.

Pam Allan: Living it says so much more than words, yes.

Corey Allan: Right. So those two have to be in line.

Pam Allan: Anybody out there is going to agree with that.

Corey Allan: Right. Those two have to be in line. But we've also got to touch on the role play idea.

Pam Allan: Yeah, okay.

Corey Allan: Right? Because this is one of those things we've not really touched on much in Sexy Marriage Radio's history, because role play is such a wide, broad, what exactly is it. It really fits into the world of fantasy, also, right?

Pam Allan: Right.

Corey Allan: So there is an element that role play can serve in marriage where a couple is using it as a proactive tool for the erotic, for the novelty, for the increase, where you're actually kind of assuming the personas of other people, of other roles, identities, men in uniform, whatever it is, that that's all role play. And so, I'm wondering, Colby, if role play's already happening to a degree in your marriage. You just haven't seen it as such of-

Pam Allan: Well, how do you mean?

Corey Allan: Because, if you're trying to deal with fantasy and bring that in to the real time, there's probably elements of what you could talk about, what your foreplay is, that might have semblances of role play already, because you're already kind of directing. You're already kind of hinting. You're already kind of ... Maybe you try it on for size, "Oh, I want to try this move tonight, and I'm going to have a little different bravado, or I'm going to have a little bit of a different spice to it." That's all role play. All right? Because I think a lot of times people here, especially people raised in the church, I think they hear role play as, "Oh no, no, never, bad, horrible, can't do it."

Pam Allan: Not bad. It's not bad. It's not bad. But it is uncomfortable for people. Back to your point before of-

Corey Allan: Absolutely it is.

Pam Allan: ... if I don't like acting, if I can't even get into playing Barbie dolls with my daughter, because-

Corey Allan: Because the imagination is not your strong suit.

Pam Allan: I got no idea what to say, how am I coming up with that stuff in the bedroom? Right? I think sometimes there is an immediate halt in some of our minds-

Corey Allan: Okay, so let me add this then.

Pam Allan: Okay.

Corey Allan: Because a role play also is something you've mentioned before, Pam, of what you use for fantasy that works is going back to past experiences we've had together. That is-

Pam Allan: Yeah, to me, that's an easy in.

Corey Allan: But that's role play.

Pam Allan: Right, but would-

Corey Allan: Because that's not what's happening in real time.

Pam Allan: Okay.

Corey Allan: And this is one of the things I just picked up from the training with Schnarch, is if you go back to something in your history, even with your own spouse, like in your case, the man that you go back to in your mind to deal with whatever, to help get some arousal or whatever, you know, the memories, that's not your husband. That's who I was. That's not who I am now.

Pam Allan: It was Corey, everybody.

Corey Allan: Exactly.

Pam Allan: It was Corey, but it's not-

Corey Allan: But to clarify it-

Pam Allan: ... always Corey today.

Corey Allan: ... but it's not who you have right now, and there's the disconnect, to see it as that's what makes it fantasy. That's what makes it role playing.

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: I want to at least offer that up to people. And maybe we need to unpack this more. So feedback to sexymarriageradio.com. Let us know, but I think that's worth noting, that let's just reframe this and see what this does for you, Colby.

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: Right? Because it's a great question, and it's a great topic we need to maybe go deeper with, but to start it off, how about just look at it a little different and see if it's already there. Maybe then the fire can be flamed differently by just a shorter ... a little pivot, a little shift, and maybe that clears up something completely different for you. Because again, this whole thing comes down to what's the uniqueness of each person. Right?

Pam Allan: Yeah.

Corey Allan: And how do you stretch them, but also harness what can come from when we're stretched, because that's when things get really erotic.

Corey Allan: All right, so as we get ready to transition into the extended content, I'm going to play the voicemail as part of the regular show-

Pam Allan: Perfect.

Corey Allan: ... because I think it captures this idea really well. And if you want the answer, you want to join the academy or the extended.

Speaker 4: Hey Corey, hey Pam, hey Sexy Marriage Radio Nation. So get this, my wife and I were laying in bed the other night, and she expressed something that I have been dying to have her express. "Why don't you ever just take me? It seems like when I ask you, you seem to lose your erection. I want to feel your strength and your weight and just be taken. I want to be held down, tied up, and blindfolded." Now, she's not wanting whips or leather or anything like that. She's just wanting a true man to come over her and feel like she's 100% mine. Now, before I go any further, we have a sex life that's though infrequent, probably one to four times a month, is incredible. Most of the time, we both orgasm at the same time, lots of different positions, things like that. We do have the Discreet app, which we reserve for any of our sexual conversations or photos and videos which we share as often.

Speaker 4: So, here's probably what I've been struggling with. Since this little conversation, which actually led to a [inaudible 00:27:47] night of intimacy, I've been struggling with why I don't feel the "need" to take charge in the dominating, masculine way she's wanting to be taken. Through my own research, I have come up with this answer, either right or wrong, which is why I yield to you and Pam, is the egalitarian idea of marriage making sex egalitarian, as well? In our home life, we both do things equally. We do the dishes, handle kids, work/life balance, you name it. I still find time to do the masculine chores like fix the car, take out the trash, split firewood, things like that. I have noticed though, that when I'm doing the "dishes that are guaranteed to make my wife hot," versus split the firewood to build a fire and keep the house warm, is met with a sweet kiss or a thank you while the latter results in a message on Discreet saying how sexy I am for have done the firewood and how she can't wait to get the kids in bed.

Speaker 4: Have traditional roles skewed what women, or my wife, want in bed, in wanting them to be taken, which is something I've always wanted to do, but have rarely done? Now that I finally have permission to fulfill the fantasies we both want, so why can't I just get out of my own head and always be chopping wood? Thanks, Corey. Thanks, Pam. Talk to you soon.

Corey Allan: So the way we transitioned from the regular show to the extended was a little bit more of a tease than we normally do.

Pam Allan: It was.

Corey Allan: But we are a show on sex, so I think teasing's kind of fun, then, isn't it?

Pam Allan: Is that one of ... Your fourth word is going to be tease for 2020?

Corey Allan: You can't do four words, because then sometimes-

Pam Allan: It's overwhelming.

Corey Allan: ... it's too much, and we don't get as much done. But I am in favor of teasing.

Pam Allan: All right. All right. Duly noted.

Corey Allan: And so, if that was something you were curious where we went with that, join the academy. It's not too late. It's really simple. Smrnation.com/smracademy is how you can learn more. Jump on board and get all the extended content, because whenever you join, you get access to all the extended content to date. So there's a ton of information that we've covered over the many years that this has been going on.

Pam Allan: Yeah, and if you want to join us at the getaway, go out to smr.fm and-

Corey Allan: /getaway. That's how you can come.

Pam Allan: /getaway to give you info on signing up, seeing what's going to happen, and going from there. Love to see you in June.

Corey Allan: Because more details are coming still. We've got a few other tricks up our sleeve that we've not yet revealed, because I haven't got them confirmed yet. But, we want to see you there in June. This has been Sexy Marriage Radio. Happy New Year.

Pam Allan: Happy New Year.

Corey Allan: ... to you and yours.

Pam Allan: Looking forward to it.

Corey Allan: And may 2020 be a fantastic year for you in your marriage, in your life, and in your bedroom. Well, wherever you are, whatever you've been doing, thanks for taking some time out of your day to spend it with us. See you next time.