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The Worst Advice About Porn Ever Given #554

Join us at the Sexy Marriage Radio Getaway in Indianapolis, June 23-25, 2022 – https://smrnation.com/getaway

On the Regular version of today’s show …

Today we hear the story of Clinton and Charity Munoz of Restored 2 More,  and how pornography almost destroyed their marriage, and Clinton’s life.

Along the way, they were given the most destructive advice about how to address this issue as a couple. Luckily, they overcame that advice and have gone on to create a ministry that helps other couples dealing with struggle and crisis from pornography or other issues in marriage.

Check them out here – https://restored2more.com/

On the Xtended version …

We go deeper into their story, but this time we explore how their journey impacted Charity and what they’ve learned along the way together.

Enjoy the show!

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CALL US 214-702-9565

or email us at feedback@sexymarriageradio.com

Speaker 1: You are listening to the regular version of Sexy Marriage Radio. SMRNation.com. You've turned on Sexy Marriage Radio, where the best sex happens in the marriage bed. Here's your host, Dr. Corey Allan.

Corey Allan: Welcome back to another episode of Sexy Marriage Radio, where we are going where the nation wants to go. It's all the way through.

Pam Allan: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't have anything to say to that. We are going where the nation wants us to go. I was trying to come up with something witty, and I didn't have it.

Corey Allan: We're waiting until the nation tells us where we're supposed to go with the open even too.

Pam Allan: Right. Tell me where to go.

Corey Allan: But the way that we have a dialogue that's ongoing with the SMR Nation is they call us, let us know what's going on, what questions they have, comments, topics they want us to cover, or they can help round out the conversation by adding their voice to the dialogue like we did last week. Yep. And so you can call (214) 702-9565, or you could record it on your own phone, email it, or just put it in text form and email it like old school at Feedback@SexyMarriageRadio.com.

Pam Allan: Email is old school as opposed to snail mail.

Corey Allan: I guess we could put an address out there, you could snail mail something-

Pam Allan: Snail mail it.

Corey Allan: ... to us. I think that does still exist and operate in 2022, but either case, we love it that the nation is involved and engaged in helping shape what happens here in the broadcast studios of Sexy Marriage Radio, and then we also love it that the nation helps spread the word.

Corey Allan: So you could do that by jumping on iTunes, writing a review, leave a comment, review the show on any of the platforms you choose. Help spread the word that Sexy Marriage Radio is a place that's really trying to help enhance and heat up sex as we come into 2022 in marriage.

Corey Allan: So quick little housekeeping before we jump into today's show, for those of the members of the nation, and that are up to date and listening regularly, as in it comes out on Wednesdays, our shows, and I know there's a lot that listen on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. We've got some backend work happening as the weekend approaches. So on Friday, we've got some technical stuff we're doing on the backend with where we house the audio.

Corey Allan: So it's all being moved. It should be seamless. But as anytime we've done anything with the site, with any of the kind of stuff, with the feeds, all that, we love it if people will at least let us know if there's an issue.

Pam Allan: Yeah. Can't get it, let us know. We'll take care of it.

Corey Allan: Yeah, send an email to Feedback@SexyMarriageRadio.com or Corey@SMRNation.com, either one. Just a, "Hey, I got a little bit of a glitch. Hey..." just because we want to make sure that while this should all be done seamlessly, no one will even know. There's always the possibilities that we have a little problem, because technology's great when it works, when it doesn't, it causes some headaches.

Corey Allan: So just a quick little heads up, but shouldn't even notice it. Shouldn't even be a blip on the radar from everybody. Well, coming up on today's regular free version of Sexy Marriage Radio is a conversation that I had. We're doing a little different this year. This year? This episode.

Pam Allan: Or this episode.

Corey Allan: Yeah. We'll just-

Pam Allan: Either way.

Corey Allan: We'll keep it to this episode.

Pam Allan: Sure.

Corey Allan: So Clinton and Charity Munoz joined me. This is a young couple. I was introduced to them because I was on their show. They have a podcast called Restored 2 More and they have begun a mission in a ministry of trying to help couples that are dealing with the recovery of pornography and how it impacts the couple, and how it's usually one person's route of what they're dealing with. And the other person just has to deal with the collateral damage and the issues that come from it.

Corey Allan: They don't get into the causality, which is the common, "Well, what did I do wrong?"

Pam Allan: Sure.

Corey Allan: So, it's their story in today's show.

Pam Allan: That's great.

Corey Allan: Of how this unfolded, what all went on because it was quite involved. Early on in marriage and on into it, and if this is something that rings true to you and if this is something that has impacted your marriage right now here in January 2022, they have a course that they run.

Corey Allan: It's a group that they run a couple times a year, I think, and they're launching now. So if you are a couple that resonates with this story, because it's been your story too in some shape or form, you're going to want to follow the links in the show notes and head to their site, which is Restored2More.com and the number two. Don't spell out two, but use the number two. And join into their group, and I think it could be great to know I'm walking alongside somebody.

Pam Allan: Right. Great resource, people that have been through it and you got this group that's going through it together.

Corey Allan: And then on the extended version today, which is deeper, longer, and there are no ads, you can subscribe at SMRNation.com/SMRAcademy. It's Charity's story on how this all went down and how this impacted her and her journey all the way through, because she's like a lot of spouses where I didn't realize what this was. I didn't realize how this impacted me. I didn't realize some of my own trauma and hurt that was surfaced because of this, so we go into a little deeper of how did this impact her and what did that mean for her?

Pam Allan: That's great to get both sides of this, and so many people walk in this journey, so this is fabulous.

Corey Allan: So all that's coming up on today's show.

Corey Allan: Well, it's an honor today to have a guest that... They're going to be new to Sexy Marriage Radio, at least for being on the air. I was introduced to Clinton and Charity Munoz because I had the fortune of being on their podcast, Restored 2 More. And after the conversation went on, it was like, "You guys got to come and return the favor." And so I'm excited to have you guys here, Clinton and Charity. Welcome to the show.

Clinton Munoz: Thanks for having us.

Charity Munoz: Yeah. Thank you. It's an honor. We're so excited.

Corey Allan: And so let's just jump right in because you guys have this thing. I'm going to give a little macro 1,000 foot, 30,000 foot of my read of you guys, and what you're doing. But then I want you to get deeper into how this all came to be. You guys had quite the journey in your marriage with some betrayals, addictions, pornography, trust, mistrust.

Corey Allan: I mean, the gamut of things that could be going on, but not only have you guys done the steps that it takes to actually approach and deal with it for yourself and for each other, you've now metastasized that or digested that and created something that's actually trying to help other people, which is Restored 2 More. Walk us through of how did this all come to be to where you're sitting here today? And I'm going to do what I can to not have therapist hat on, because that's not what this is. But just walk us through the journey.

Charity Munoz: Well, I'll have Clinton start and share his perspective. And then I think it's fun to just always share from the woman's perspective and our views and our sides, so.

Clinton Munoz: I like that. I like that idea. Yeah, so from the husband's perspective, I had an addiction to pornography that I brought into my marriage at a young marriage. We're 30 this year, both turned 30, and we got married at 22 years old. So we were very young, newlywed couple.

Clinton Munoz: And I had this pattern, this behavior, addiction to pornography as a way to cope with all these different really internal core beliefs that were pretty messed up and that I had to run away from. So the feelings of being inadequate, not being able to handle stress well, I went to performance, all these different things and never found a way to get free from pornography. Unfortunately, I also came from a lot of church hurt where I was a believer, and I could worship God for a list of things as a Christian. Like, "Hey, God's good. He gave me a beautiful wife and he's blessed my career."

Clinton Munoz: I was in finance at the time, and all these different things that God had done, but there was a part of my life that I didn't understand why God had allowed it to happen. And that created some dissension between me and the Lord for sure, as well as me going to people in the church and asking for help and them saying that I wasn't saved, or I need to memorize more scripture. I had an addiction because I lacked faith, that kind of stuff was really hurtful and painful as a Christian because I never doubted God's ability to heal me.

Clinton Munoz: But yet, God also hadn't answered those prayers to heal me through the church and people like that. It was a painful journey to say the least, of having a young addiction at the age of 11, 12 years old, and then carrying that into my marriage, always wishing I would stop, always wanting to stop, but never really knowing where to go for healing.

Corey Allan: So would you have that typical cycle that is all too common of you get down in the depths of it, and then there's this come to Jesus moment literally, in a sense, of "Never again, I'm done. I'll put it all away. I'll confess," or whatever, and you willpower it, white knuckle it, whatever. And it only lasts for so long, and there you go again.

Clinton Munoz: Yeah, totally. 100%. Only thing I would add to that is that I began to believe that God didn't want to heal it. Maybe this was the thorn in my flesh. So maybe I'm always going to struggle with this. So maybe it became less and less like, "I have to quit this," and more and more like, "I have to manage it." So I just have to compartmentalize my life, so on one side of the spectrum, sure, I'm looking at pornography, struggling with masturbation. At the point I got married.

Clinton Munoz: It took on a new head and turned into a couple visits to massage parlors and a few visits to strip clubs. And during this time, it was there, but I still was serving in the church and leading Bible studies and leading worship. So just a lot of compartmentalizing going on, because I had no idea how to make sense of what was going on in my life.

Corey Allan: Okay. And all of that stuff happened after the marriage, when it actually moved into a tangible, outward expression? Things beyond just the virtual things?

Clinton Munoz: Yep. I think a lot of that was because of intimacy disorder, which now we know is a big deal for men. As we didn't have sex before marriage, we got into a sexual relationship and that is very intimate. And even that was triggering to my addiction that I didn't know how to live with.

Clinton Munoz: I never lived with another woman before. So now, we're living together, we're doing a newlywed thing, sex, it is not like pornography. It takes a lot of work. It takes a lot of communication. It isn't a place where you can show up and just for lack of... I don't mean to be crude, but I guess it's not a place where you can show up and orgasm and then leave. It's a place where it takes two. And pornography and masturbation is transactional.

Corey Allan: Right. It's not a clickable orgasm.

Clinton Munoz: That's it. That's it. So I was dissatisfied, even with our sexual experience off the bat. And that just created a lot of... I think just a big gap in our relationship. Charity knew. Unfortunately, I said some hurtful things right off the bat, and I hid pornography from her for a long time.

Clinton Munoz: It wasn't until two years in that she found I was using pornography again, and then two years after that was when everything got really escalated and she was now going to leave after having our first child. So I'll let you pick up there.

Charity Munoz: Okay. Yeah. So lucky me, that it became tangible when we were married, so.

Corey Allan: That adds a whole other layer.

Charity Munoz: It does.

Corey Allan: To the journey, because how long did you guys date prior to getting married?

Charity Munoz: We were only together for a year, so it was very quick. Yet though, because people ask me this, "Did you know about him looking at pornography?" And I did. He had told me like, "Hey, this was a struggle in the past. It no longer is now, but it was." And then he actually... So sorry, there was a tangible thing in his story. He lost his virginity to a prostitute on a mission trip.

Clinton Munoz: Oh, that's true. Yeah.

Charity Munoz: So that was the first tangible, and then it started back up when we got married. So he had told me that-

Clinton Munoz: We weren't together. I was 16 years old, or no, I was 18 years old, freshman year of college. So that was before. So I did cross the flesh line there, with a person.

Corey Allan: Okay, perfect.

Charity Munoz: So he had told me this, and he was like, "I just want you to know everything if we're going to seriously date and think about marriage." And I'm like, "Thank you for sharing that with me." And I think love is blind.

Clinton Munoz: I was a really good salesman.

Charity Munoz: He was.

Clinton Munoz: I mean, I can word that like, "Hey, well, so I crossed the flesh line four years ago," but I hadn't again. I haven't gone to these places in four years, just the pathological liar and manipulator that I had become [crosstalk 00:12:58]-

Corey Allan: And what's so interesting to me is I'm sitting here hearing this, because I've not heard your whole story. I've watched some snippets of what you guys have online and on the show, and when I was with you guys, we didn't talk about your story. So what's interesting to me, Clinton, is the way you have framed this is one of the things that really amped up your dichotomy if you will, of this struggle, was now all of a sudden, I had the chance to be really intimate with another person, i.e. Charity. Right?

Corey Allan: So that's going to reveal things in you and expose things in you, but yet, you had these pseudo-intimate moves all the way through of, "I want to be intimate with you. So let me share with you what's going on in my world. But I put up this buffer that I don't get it all out there so you know, because I don't really want to have you wading in all the dark side of me that's going on." Okay. So, that's interesting because it's this self-fulfilling, you're seeking it, but you're also knowing it's a problem that I'm seeking, it's going to just magnify what's going on because you can't escape it.

Clinton Munoz: There's such a fear, such a fear of if I'm fully known, you will not want to be a part of my life. So I'll let you know who I am to a point and hopefully, you don't reject me. But after I've told you some of it and you don't reject me, that was great. Let's not go into the rest because there's a lot more potential for rejection and being cast off, if you really know who I fully am.

Clinton Munoz: So I just let the world know, including my wife, me up to a point. Because sometimes, it's great to be transparent in church for the use of being liked. I mean it's like, "Oh, that was so good. You're so raw and real." And I'm sitting there like, "You don't know the half of it, but praise the Lord that was good and I'm accepted, because I just want to be accepted." Right?

Corey Allan: Right. Okay. So Charity, keep going then, on...

Charity Munoz: Okay. So that happened and my response was, "Well, I'm broken too. I have my own past sexual brokenness. God has forgiven me. He's forgiven you. As long as you're not bringing that into our relationship," and he had convinced me he wasn't, then I'm like, "Well then, I don't see a problem with it." So we got married and there was a couple slips in there, meaning he had confessed, "Hey, I've been looking at pornography. We need to put a lock on the computer."

Charity Munoz: So we had put a lock on the computer and my whole mindset this entire time was, "Gosh, this really hurts. This is really painful. Yet everybody around me is telling me that it's normal, that every guy struggles, that porn is something that guys just do." And it's just like Clinton said, the thorn in their flesh.

Charity Munoz: Because when I would start talking to some women about it, they'd be like, "Oh yeah. Well, all guys look at porn." And I think specifically in the generation that we were grown up in is porn has become our sex ed. And it's sad to say that, but it's just the truth. I learned a lot of the stuff from pornography when I was in a group with friends, never struggled with it, but all of the things that I had seen sexually were from porn.

Charity Munoz: I think we live in an over-sexualized world where it becomes so just normal and acceptable. So for me, I'm battling as a believer, it doesn't feel and sit well with my soul because we are one and we're married and I just don't understand. There's such a lack of education around pornography, what it does to the brain, how it can totally kill a relationship, intimacy, marriage, sex, everything.

Charity Munoz: I mean, it didn't just affect one aspect. It affected everything, yet nobody was saying that it was because of pornography. They were just, "Oh, it's just part of newlyweds, and newlyweds have stuff, and it's hard." So pretty much that just compounded. Our sex life was not anything like we thought or was told that it would be. So we just mustered through, and then two years into our marriage, I had found his phone flooded with porn. His phone had dinged, he was sleeping. I was getting ready for work. And I was like, "What in the world? This cannot be my husband." There's no way. He had social media accounts and apps that I didn't even know he could do. And I was just like, "Oh my gosh, what in the world?"

Charity Munoz: So I gently grabbed a pillow, threw it on his face as hard as I could, and said, "What the flip is this? Who are you? What is going on?" And there was no getting out of it. I mean, there was so much proof and evidence with the things that I'd found in his name that he just started weeping. So I had to leave for work. I started becoming an investigator detective just like I feel like every wife does when they find this out.

Charity Munoz: And especially when it's not disclosed to them, but they'd become a detective. So I went on our email, we did joint email account. I knew he was apart of this accountability group, and so I went on there and he had confessed to this accountability partner everything that he had done in marriage. So then I saw massage parlors and strip clubs.

Charity Munoz: And I'm shaking, out of body experience at work, couldn't even focus. I'm in Redland, which is an hour something away from where we lived. And I was like, "I just need to get out of here. I feel so sick." So came home, said, "I want a divorce." He's like, "Please, I'll change. I'll do whatever." We reached out to a pastor. And the pastor's advice to us was, "Charity, you need to wear him out more and whenever he needs something, you be the beck and call." And then, "Clinton, you need to memorize more scripture."

Charity Munoz: So what did we do? That was the first people that we had shared all this to, we took it and we ran with it. So it was like, I became this prostitute now whenever he needed sexual desires to be met. I thought that I was the answer. And lo and behold, I wasn't, and that broke me. And then that broke Clinton and we both dived into more shame and hiding, and it was really bad.

Corey Allan: That's more than just bad. That is destructive, abusive, totally lack of awareness. Man. That invokes all kinds of feelings in me that I can't express on the air, so.

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Clinton Munoz: Yeah, I think the continuing pattern too was just that we were trying to get help. And you mentioned it, that's what led to the creation of Restored 2 More, that we were Christians, we were God's children. We were trying to seek godly advice. We were trying not to become a divorce statistic. Charity had every right to leave.

Clinton Munoz: Every right, even Biblically, every right in the world. I mean, this guy, her husband, me, is cheating on her, is going elsewhere. For all these things, is lying, is manipulating, is gaslighting, all these things. And she's like, "Okay, let's work on it." And we seek out help. And she does, she becomes like a prostitute, where I'm like, "Hey, I'm feeling an urge." And she's like, "Okay, I'll drive to your work." And she's driving to work, and we're trying to do sexual things in the parking lot just to meet a need or something like that.

Clinton Munoz: And then she leaves, and of course there's so much shame there. There's no inner healing.

Corey Allan: None.

Clinton Munoz: So I'm going back to my job, I'm looking at pornography right after we're done and masturbating because that's the only way I know how to cope with the shame, with the condemnation, with the feeling of I'm a wreck. I am internally flawed and now my wife is hurting and I am not a good enough Christian, and that's why I'm struggling. There was so much shame there. It was crazy.

Charity Munoz: Yeah. So pretty much what ended up happening is about a year and a half I think later, Clinton had opened up to me again, "Hey, it's getting bad again. It's not just a struggle."

Clinton Munoz: I'm acting out. Yeah.

Charity Munoz: Yeah. And I'm like, "What?" I was so naive again, to be like, "I had no idea this was an addiction," and what needed to happen.

Clinton Munoz: Well, what was going on was we were struggling with this area and she's trying to have sex with me all the time, but it's not taking care of the addiction. We now know that never would. You don't give somebody who struggles with gambling a million dollars and say, "That's going to solve your gambling problem." You don't give any kind of a drug addict more of the drug they're addicted to and think, "If we just give him enough drugs, that will take care of the problem."

Clinton Munoz: So you don't solve a sexual addiction with sex, so it just wasn't working. So my decision was, "This isn't fixing it. I want to stay married. I have to lie again. I have to go back to lying and hiding." And then it got so bad that I had to admit what was going on again.

Charity Munoz: So we went to an intensive with some counselors and finally, denial was broken for Clinton in the sense of, "I'm going to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes, I've been cheating on my wife." Because up to that point, it had been so justified. The counselor had said to him, "How do you think your wife feels knowing that you've cheated on her hundreds, if not thousands of times?"

Charity Munoz: And his answer came out and he's like, "Oh frick, can I just take that back?" But the answer was, "Well, technically, I haven't had intercourse and sex with anyone." And because I heard that, I started weeping and bawling and breaking, and she's like, "Okay, I'm going to ask you that question again while you're looking at your wife."

Corey Allan: Yeah. Take in the surroundings of what's actually happening from the impact of what's going on here. And let's get a better assessment. Perfect.

Charity Munoz: And he was like, "Oh my gosh, I've been cheating on my wife, over and over and over again." And it broke him. And from that moment, that's when we started true recovery, not for me, but for him. They really gave him a lot of tools of a recovery program, and just some specialist things that we needed to start diving deeper into childhood traumas and all those things.

Charity Munoz: So he started the journey of recovery, and I was still just left bleeding out at home. I was thinking once he's sober, then our relationship's going to go back to normal or it's going to be better. But that wasn't the truth. It was he was starting to recover, finding freedom. He's becoming this incredible man. He has now put all that shame and woundedness on me. So now, I'm left at home broken, alone, and just still feeling like crap.

Charity Munoz: So I started having really bad sciatic nerve pain, loss of hair. And I was like, "I need help too. This has deeply affected me. It's not just about you, but it's affected me." So that's when I finally got connected to a betrayal trauma therapist and started my own journey to restoration and started getting healing on my end too.

Corey Allan: Yeah. Because that's a pretty common experience in the sense that the person that's been involved in the struggle to the depth you're describing, Clinton, of it's a lifelong thing, this has been my journey too, of it started long before Pam. I carried it in with the belief that, "Oh yeah, marriage will make it all go away because now I can actually have what I've been looking for, and I've been using that as an outlet to not go have sex with other people before I get married."

Corey Allan: And lo and behold, it doesn't, because it's a whole lot more complicated to have sex with another actual human being than a virtual thing, that will never say no. But it's that element of, okay, once you start that process, you've got such a head start on restoration as you're framing it, on healing, on growing, on developing integrity and living accordingly, which is huge that now, all of a sudden, your wife in this instance, she's so far behind and now she's like, "What gives? What just happened here? I am not the one that's had the problem with this. I've been the collateral damage and now I feel like it is all on me."

Corey Allan: I mean, that's a very common experience. So if anybody that's listening to this resonates with it, at least we need to acknowledge that, that that is a part of this dynamic and this journey. So you finally get somebody for you, you guys align with people, and that's the other thing that's the big stand out to me, is finding good sources of information.

Corey Allan: Finding people that can not normalize it, but not add so much shame over it, because it is a human condition struggle. And whether it's pornography or acting out, or as you've mentioned, gambling or drugs, sex, alcohol, money spending, all of it, well, we all have vices. So finding somebody that can at least acknowledge that and not get flipped out by it, because most of the time, the church is so afraid of this crap, they just throw stuff at it that while it's not wrong, it's wrong.

Corey Allan: Because that's the whole thing. I have a real hard time saying this with some people because I'm not quite sure how they're going to label me, but it's that element of, "Well, you just need to pray more." That's not wrong advice, but it's not enough. And if that's all it is, it's interpreted as, "Well, there's something wrong because you don't pray enough," rather than no, that's a component of this. But man, you got to face some good things, some tough things, because the one thing that's ringing true to me and this is where I want to pivot when we move to the extended content, because I think this is just dangling out there for those that are in the nation that are listening to this.

Corey Allan: Because what this is calling on is this is character and integrity demanding work.

Clinton Munoz: Yeah, it is.

Corey Allan: It is, because this is not about Charity's not meeting enough of a need or Charity, you're not meeting enough of a need or being the right conduit, or playing the role or whatever. There's other stuff that's being exposed in this that makes it such an imperative to realize both parties are complicit in the journey, but they're not responsible for the other person's journey. That makes sense?

Clinton Munoz: Yeah, it does. I would just add to that in that we didn't realize how much of what Charity had gone through before me was affecting the restoration journey that we were going to embark on together, because she was sexually broken before I ever came into the picture as well. And that's not any excuse or anything like that on my end at all. It's just realizing that, "Wow, we had to climb a huge mountain." She was sexually molested at seven years old, and she came from abusive boyfriends.

Clinton Munoz: She came from having sex before marriage. She came from manipulative sex before marriage. I mean, she came from a broken background, and we got into a relationship and this only enhanced the pain of everything. But there was a lot of betrayal that had gone on before I entered the picture. My actions just enhanced that pain.

Clinton Munoz: It was as if now, the house that we had built if you will, if it's a house that we built on marriage, not only was faulty in the doors and there was a leak, and that pipe broke, and it decimated the entire thing. We were just left with a plot of dirt and we had to decide, are we going to rebuild this thing from the ground up? And the reason why we titled it Restored 2 More, our tag is restore, rebuild, reflect, is because there's a process that a relationship has to go through where they're going to decide, are we going to rebuild this thing from the ground up with a good foundation?

Clinton Munoz: Are we going to rebuild it with transparency and honesty? And what you're talking about is that in my opinion, it's two people saying, "You know what? I'm going to address my brokenness." I believe that what I did decimated Charity, I'm not saying... I have full responsibility for what I did, but Charity had to make that choice in herself to say, "Am I going to choose to walk the healing path of the brokenness that not only Clinton caused, but also the brokenness that was there before I ever met Clinton?"

Clinton Munoz: And I had to choose to go, "Am I going to rebuild our marriage for what our marriage can have, but am I going to choose personally to go down the journey of restoration for myself, so that that little kid in me gets healing as well?" And that takes a lot of decision, a lot of character, a lot of follow through, yet is 100% worth it.

Corey Allan: Yeah. So the one thing that magnifies from both of you guys is it takes courage. That it takes tremendous courage to face the demons in real time and in our past, because those suckers don't go away. I can try to make sense of them all I want. But I think in my mind, I have to recognize them better, channel them better, call them out what they are, and build something better.

Corey Allan: So as we wind down this first segment with you guys, I cannot recommend Restored 2 More enough, from what I've heard of you guys and the interaction I get from you guys. So tell people how they can find you, what you're about, if you would please.

Charity Munoz: Yeah. So you can go to our website, our website is Restored2More.com. We also have a podcast that we release new episodes every Tuesday. So our podcast is called Restored, with the number two, More. And then we also upload them on YouTube, have a YouTube channel. And then our Instagram is really, we are uploading things constantly on a daily basis.

Charity Munoz: So we really love to educate through Reels, because we feel like our generation is all about just looking at videos and quick videos, and just those little hits. So we really try and educate about pornography and triggers and trauma and sex and past sexual brokenness in five to 10 seconds through dances that are giving a lot of couples hope.

Charity Munoz: So if you want daily inspiration, I would encourage you to go on or Instagram. It's Restored, with the number two, More. And we love being on there and just being a couple that is just another voice to share a light on a dark topic.

Clinton Munoz: Yeah. Another favorite thing we just created is our couple's courses. So we believe that so many, and we just found that there was a need for a couple to understand recovery together. So what happened in our journey was that Charity and I went to separate groups and we went to separate therapists, and we were in separate sponsorship things.

Clinton Munoz: And that was so needed. We are such advocates for doing our own work. Simultaneously, we've become advocates for doing couple's work even in the beginning of a journey, so that I can understand what trauma does to the brain, especially with betrayal trauma, so that Charity can understand the effects of pornography on my brain, just so that we can work towards our home becoming a safe place. Initially, our home was so unsafe, so many triggers going on, so much lack of communication, or it was word vomiting all over each other, which was triggering conversation.

Clinton Munoz: So we want to help more couples learn how they can support their spouse on their journey of recovery and restoration, become a safe place for their spouse. And even before they become a safe place, learn how to be a safe person, even in the very beginning of recovery. We have couples courses that go to this, and they're eight-week courses and you can join them. We start them up again in January, they last eight or 12 weeks, depending on which course you're in. But everybody starts in course one, they progress to course two, and it teaches them basically those principles. Where does our relationship go?

Corey Allan: That's good. That's good. Because that's the one thing I think people need to recognize. So those of you that are in the SMR Nation that are hearing this and are resonating with this path, regardless of where you are in the path, one of the things we hope that cross from this dialogue and I think I can speak for you both here is that you're not alone in the journey.

Corey Allan: So having other people with it makes a huge difference, especially those that can be non-judgmental, welcoming, supportive, encouraging, honest, and give us hope to see it is survivable.

Clinton Munoz: It is.

Corey Allan: That's probably the biggest thing I've ever heard as a compliment is the people I've worked with in an intense level with this, my ability to be able to say, "You know what? This is survivable," gives all kinds of hope.

Clinton Munoz: I love that.

Corey Allan: You guys are a walking testimony of that. So thank you so much for the time thus far, and I'm looking forward to pivoting where we're going to head next.

Clinton Munoz: Thanks, Corey. This was awesome. Grateful.

Corey Allan: When there are couples that have gone down a journey like this, that are willing to talk about it, it's so freeing and empowering.

Pam Allan: Well, it's amazing. It is freeing, empowering. It lets people know that they're not in this alone, but I think when we can set this mindset and this culture of being there for one another, letting people know they're not alone, sharing a story in the right setting.

Corey Allan: Right. And I love the mission-

Pam Allan: It's amazing.

Corey Allan: ... that they've got going on, is this idea of how do we make crisis create more intimacy? And better selves and better relationships, to not be afraid of it? I mean, we talk about this on more of a global, not just the specific route they're targeting with the pornography journey, but we talk about this as comfort. I mean, and conflict, of how do I learn to lean into the discomfort of conflict? And-

Pam Allan: That's what grows us up.

Corey Allan: Absolutely. I love that they are reclaiming some bad. God can use use bad for good. They are a shining example of that. Well, this has been Sexy Marriage Radio. If this story has resonated with you or you would love to hear more of similar, let us know. (214) 702-9565, Feedback@SexyMarriageRadio.com. So once again, we thank you for taking the time out to spend it with us, and we'll see you next time.