Want the XTD Content?
Subscribe to hear the Xtended Episodes by clicking here.
Starter Packs
New to the show? These Starter Packs are collections of our most popular episodes grouped by topic. For existing listeners, you can also browse starter packs to find your old favorites.
Every week, SMR delivers interviews with experts and answers your questions to help your marriage thrive. Learn how to subscribe to the show and never miss a new episode.
Lets Talk About Testosterone #577
I’m joined by Dr Carole Hooven, a Harvard Lecturer, as we discuss her study and work on the science of testosterone.
Why is it that this hormone is so important and so divisive?
Learn more about Dr Carole here – http://www.carolehooven.com/
On the Xtended version …
Dr Carole and I continue the conversation only get more personal. She even turns the tables on the interview!
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Adventure Challenge …In Bed Book: Get 20% off and add play back to foreplay in your marriage. Use our code SMR20 at https://www.theadventurechallenge.com/
Better Help: Online counseling services accessible from anywhere. Save 10% on your first month https://betterhelp.com/smr
Cliteracy #576
An encore presentation of the conversation with Dr Laurie Mintz, author of Becoming Cliterate. We talk about the orgasm gap, why it exists and what couples can do about it.
On the Xtended version …
Dr Laurie continues with me again to discuss the route to female orgasms as well as their importance.
Learn more about Laurie here https://www.drlauriemintz.com/
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Hello Fresh: Take the stress out of meal time at your house https://hellofresh.com/smr16 use code smr16 for 16 free meals, and 3 free gifts.
Abstinence In Marriage #575
A husband who has had a past struggle with porn and sex addiction is in the midst of an agreed upon abstinence period with his wife. She says it will take a long time before sex is introduced again in the marriage. What can he do?
A wife went through old voicemails left for her from her husband while they were dating and he sounds like a completely different man compared to now. How should she react to the heartbreak she feels now?
On the Xtended version …
A more dominant personality wife gets blamed for her husbands decisions and results when he followed her thoughts. He claims “when mama ain’t happy, no one is” How can she address this dynamic?
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at https://manscaped.com
Q&A Potpourri: Consent, Oral Sex, Waiting #574
Pam and I work through a potpourri of questions today ….
A husband is struggling with the idea of consent in marriage, even when his wife has given it in some areas.
Wife regularly gives her husband a “hand” yet it’s feeling too transactional now.
A husband told his wife she was great at blow jobs early on in their marriage, yet she’s not. Now what should he do?
A wife has a husband who has lost lots of weight yet still has more to go and lots of loose skin now.
A wife who has never orgasmed and a husband who really wants her too.
A woman is saving herself for marriage, but what if she winds up stuck with a micro-penis?
Been married for 7 months, and sex sucks.
A wife found out her husband struggled with porn and now she is struggling to not worry about what he’s thinking about or wanting to do during sex with her.
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Adventure Challenge …In Bed Book: Get 20% off and add play back to foreplay in your marriage. Use our code SMR20 at https://www.theadventurechallenge.com/
Best Of SMR: Awaken Female Desire #573
A best of SMR episode with an email from a higher desire wife that’s in a catch 22.
An interview with Pam Costa about her journey and research into female desire. How her experience of talking about the topic, taboos, and hesitancies with other women dramatically improved her desire levels.
On the Xtended version …
I continue the conversation with Pam Costa about the research project she created to study female desire levels and the practical steps everyone can talk to help themselves in this area of life.
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at https://manscaped.com
Hello Fresh: Take the stress out of meal time at your house https://hellofresh.com/smr16 use code smr16 for 16 free meals, including free
shipping!
Not Enough #572
An email from a husband wanting to explore some new things during sex with his wife, yet she takes this as she’s not enough for him.
A husband emails us about his never being attracted to his wife, even while they were dating. What are his options now?
On the Xtended version …
How do our family of origin patterns play out in our lives and marriages today?
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Adventure Challenge …In Bed Book: Get 20% off and add play back to foreplay in your marriage. Use our code SMR20 at https://www.theadventurechallenge.com
Better Help: Online counseling services accessible from anywhere. Save 10% on your first month https://betterhelp.com/smr
Feelings and Meanings #571
A followup voicemail regarding episode #569 – what are some better questions and conversations starters to address difficult issues in marriage?
An email from a husband who’s wife experiences pain during sex, and while it’s better, how do they change things up a bit when there’s anxiety about possible pain?
On the Xtended version …
Pam and I discuss an email from a listener and their framework of where feelings come from. Which leads to the question, which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
The State Of Our Union: Weekly conversation prompts to have meaningful conversations. https://smrnation.com/union
Grace Marriage #570
I’m joined by Brad and Marilyn Rhoads, co-founders of Grace Marriage. Hear us talk about their story and how it applies to most every marriage.
Learn more about Grace Marriage here – https://www.gracemarriage.com/
On the Xtended version …
Today we revisit a segment from a prior episode in the archives with this Best Of topic – I am not who you think I am, I am not who I think I am, I am who I think you think I am.
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Adventure Challenge …In Bed Book: Get 20% off and add play back to foreplay in your marriage. Use our code SMR20 at https://www.theadventurechallenge.com/
Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at https://manscaped.com
Wife Is Fine With Being Fine #569
A husband is stuck in a scary place in his marriage. His wife says she has no attraction towards him, at least physically. Yet she also is fine with the state of their marriage. He’s not. What can he do?
On the Xtended version …
How do we use our time? Where are there spaces (white space) in our days to reset, recharge, or create?
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
The State Of Our Union: Weekly conversation prompts to have meaningful conversations. https://smrnation.com/union
Attraction #568
I’m joined today Kimberly Beam Holmes, of It Starts With Attraction, and we dive into the world of attraction. Or as she had framed it … PIES.
Learn more about Kimberly on her sites
https://marriagehelper.com/
https://piesuniversity.com/
On the Xtended version …
Kimberly and I go into a more personal conversation about growing up behind the scenes in the marriage help world, and living as a couple who helps marriages.
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Better Help: Online counseling services accessible from anywhere. Save 10% on your first month https://betterhelp.com/smr
The SMR Academy: Get XTD content and support from the experts and an engaged community. https://smrnation.com/smracademy
Exploring Kink and BDSM #567
I’m joined today by Tornus and Smartypants, of Full Circle Kink, as they take us on an exploration in the world of kink and BDSM.
Communication is king when venturing into today’s topic … and all sexual encounters for that matter.
Learn more on their site – https://www.fullcirclekink.com/
On the Xtended version …
We continue the conversation with Tornus and Smartypants and their personal journey into the world of kink. Plus, they give some great tips on equipment or first steps people often think they should take, but not according to them.
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Hello Fresh: Take the stress out of meal time at your house https://hellofresh.com/smr16 use code smr16 for 16 free meals, including free
shipping!
The SMR Academy: Get XTD content and support from the experts and an engaged community. https://smrnation.com/smracademy
Respect #566
A wife suffered from insomnia for a while in her marriage, and it wrecked their sex life. How do they get it back now that the insomnia is no longer the issue? Plus, when she feels desire to initiate, she often doesn’t – because he would like that. What’s that about?
An email and voicemail adding more to last week’s conversation about the couple where vacation sex has decreased. A few additional points to consider.
On the Xtended version …
A wife repeatedly hears the message from her husband that she doesn’t show him any respect. What exactly does that mean?
And are we even owed something like that in our marriage?
Enjoy the show!
Sponsors …
Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at https://manscaped.com