Want the XTD Content?

Subscribe to hear the Xtended Episodes by clicking here.

 

Starter Packs

New to the show? These Starter Packs are collections of our most popular episodes grouped by topic. For existing listeners, you can also browse starter packs to find your old favorites.

Every week, SMR delivers interviews with experts and answers your questions to help your marriage thrive. Learn how to subscribe to the show and never miss a new episode.

Best Of SMR: Awaken Female Desire #573

Best Of SMR: Awaken Female Desire #573

A best of SMR episode with an email from a higher desire wife that’s in a catch 22.

An interview with Pam Costa about her journey and research into female desire. How her experience of talking about the topic, taboos, and hesitancies with other women dramatically improved her desire levels.

On the Xtended version …

I continue the conversation with Pam Costa about the research project she created to study female desire levels and the practical steps everyone can talk to help themselves in this area of life.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at  https://manscaped.com

Hello Fresh: Take the stress out of meal time at your house https://hellofresh.com/smr16 use code smr16 for 16 free meals, including free
shipping!

read more
Not Enough #572

Not Enough #572

An email from a husband wanting to explore some new things during sex with his wife, yet she takes this as she’s not enough for him.

A husband emails us about his never being attracted to his wife, even while they were dating. What are his options now?

On the Xtended version …

How do our family of origin patterns play out in our lives and marriages today?

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Adventure Challenge …In Bed Book: Get 20% off and add play back to foreplay in your marriage. Use our code SMR20 at  https://www.theadventurechallenge.com

Better Help: Online counseling services accessible from anywhere. Save 10% on your first month https://betterhelp.com/smr

read more
Feelings and Meanings #571

Feelings and Meanings #571

A followup voicemail regarding episode #569 – what are some better questions and conversations starters to address difficult issues in marriage?

An email from a husband who’s wife experiences pain during sex, and while it’s better, how do they change things up a bit when there’s anxiety about possible pain?

On the Xtended version …

Pam and I discuss an email from a listener and their framework of where feelings come from. Which leads to the question, which comes first, the chicken or the egg?

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

The State Of Our Union: Weekly conversation prompts to have meaningful conversations. https://smrnation.com/union

read more
Grace Marriage #570

Grace Marriage #570

I’m joined by Brad and Marilyn Rhoads, co-founders of Grace Marriage. Hear us talk about their story and how it applies to most every marriage.

Learn more about Grace Marriage here – https://www.gracemarriage.com/

On the Xtended version …

Today we revisit a segment from a prior episode in the archives with this Best Of topic – I am not who you think I am, I am not who I think I am, I am who I think you think I am.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Adventure Challenge …In Bed Book: Get 20% off and add play back to foreplay in your marriage. Use our code SMR20 at  https://www.theadventurechallenge.com/

Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at  https://manscaped.com

read more
Wife Is Fine With Being Fine #569

Wife Is Fine With Being Fine #569

A husband is stuck in a scary place in his marriage. His wife says she has no attraction towards him, at least physically. Yet she also is fine with the state of their marriage. He’s not. What can he do?

On the Xtended version …

How do we use our time? Where are there spaces (white space) in our days to reset, recharge, or create?

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

The State Of Our Union: Weekly conversation prompts to have meaningful conversations. https://smrnation.com/union

read more
Attraction #568

Attraction #568

I’m joined today Kimberly Beam Holmes, of It Starts With Attraction, and we dive into the world of attraction. Or as she had framed it … PIES.

Learn more about Kimberly on her sites
https://marriagehelper.com/
https://piesuniversity.com/

On the Xtended version …

Kimberly and I go into a more personal conversation about growing up behind the scenes in the marriage help world, and living as a couple who helps marriages. 

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Better Help: Online counseling services accessible from anywhere. Save 10% on your first month https://betterhelp.com/smr

The SMR Academy: Get XTD content and support from the experts and an engaged community. https://smrnation.com/smracademy

read more
Exploring Kink and BDSM #567

Exploring Kink and BDSM #567

I’m joined today by Tornus and Smartypants, of Full Circle Kink, as they take us on an exploration in the world of kink and BDSM.

Communication is king when venturing into today’s topic … and all sexual encounters for that matter.

Learn more on their site – https://www.fullcirclekink.com/ 

On the Xtended version …

We continue the conversation with Tornus and Smartypants and their personal journey into the world of kink. Plus, they give some great tips on equipment or first steps people often think they should take, but not according to them.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Hello Fresh: Take the stress out of meal time at your house https://hellofresh.com/smr16 use code smr16 for 16 free meals, including free
shipping!

The SMR Academy: Get XTD content and support from the experts and an engaged community. https://smrnation.com/smracademy

read more
Respect #566

Respect #566

A wife suffered from insomnia for a while in her marriage, and it wrecked their sex life. How do they get it back now that the insomnia is no longer the issue? Plus, when she feels desire to initiate, she often doesn’t – because he would like that. What’s that about?

An email and voicemail adding more to last week’s conversation about the couple where vacation sex has decreased. A few additional points to consider.

On the Xtended version …

A wife repeatedly hears the message from her husband that she doesn’t show him any respect. What exactly does that mean?

And are we even owed something like that in our marriage?

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Manscaped: Get 20% off and free shipping on the worlds best grooming products for men. Use the code SMR at  https://manscaped.com

read more
Even Vacation Sex Has Decreased #565

Even Vacation Sex Has Decreased #565

A husband is frustrated because while he usually could rely on vacation sex being adventurous and frequent with his wife, something’s changed with her and them lately.

A voicemail asking some questions about Erich Fromm’s book The Art Of Loving. Class is in session.

On the Xtended version …

A wife with the trauma of sexual assault in her past is now struggling with how her husband is sometimes trying to guilt her into more sex. What’s her best response?

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

The State Of Our Union: Weekly conversation prompts to have meaningful conversations. https://smrnation.com/union

read more
Sex Scripts and Stories #564

Sex Scripts and Stories #564

A husband wants to learn how to change up sexual encounters with his wife so the experience will last longer – but changing it up ruins it for his wife.

A follow up to the One Flesh episode from a husband who is the same situation with his wife – she too has not interest in sex or seeking help for their sex life.

On the Xtended version …

Some newlyweds reach out for help in how to get a wife more open to the possibilities of doing more than missionary position during sex.

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

Better Help: Online counseling services accessible from anywhere. Save 10% on your first month https://betterhelp.com/smr

read more
Higher Desire Wife #563

Higher Desire Wife #563

Today I’m joined by J Parker, of Hot Holy and Humorous, and we discuss the plight of the higher desire wife.

It’s more common than we think, it’s impacting younger people’s marriage more than ever and there are several reasons why we think this is the case.

What are these reasons? Join us today to hear more.

You can find J’s work on her site – https://hotholyhumorous.com/

Enjoy the show!

Sponsors …

The State Of Our Union: Weekly conversation prompts to have meaningful conversations. https://smrnation.com/union

read more
Being Sexually Mindful #562

Being Sexually Mindful #562

Dr Chelom Leavitt joins me as we discuss her research and work on being more sexually mindful. 

You can find more about Dr Chelom here – https://www.chelomleavitt.com/

On the Xtended version …

Dr Chelom and I discuss the differences between differentiation theory and attachment theory. 

Enjoy the show!

read more