Helping When Help Is Not Wanted

The scene is a couple driving in the car on the way to dinner: Silence for several minutes. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing.” A few more minutes of silence passed, “I know something is wrong. What’s going on?” “Nothing! Jeez, what am I doing?” “That’s just it! You’re...

Every Day, Take Action

Marriage isn’t always rainbows and butterflies. But what do you do when married life hands you a load of junk? Start with a deep breath … own your own junk, then find a suitable sized box to pack up the rest. Married life isn’t always sunny Last...

This Is Water

Have you heard the commencement speech given several years ago by novelist David Foster Wallace to Kenyon College? There’s a great Youtube video that uses excerpts from it, called This is Water. It is a brilliant speech that encourages us all to stop presuming we know...
Focus on the how not the what

Focus on the how not the what

What is it that creates the intensity in certain conversations with your spouse? What moves a conversation between two people from the issue at hand into personal meltdown? Emotional reactivity. But this isn’t all bad, emotional reactivity also turns out to be...