This is the second post in a short series where we’re learning why most husbands stay stuck on some plateau in life and why a rare few are able to level up. This is all included in the Man Of His Word Mastermind Groups that start in January. You can learn more by clicking here.
Today we’re talking about courage or intestinal fortitude – or medically stated, testicles – or the slang term, huevos.
There are times in life when a man loses touch with his huevos. This is we he seeks comfort at all costs. Every decision he makes is determined by what will give him a greater sense of comfort in the short term.
It’s like he wants a free lunch – expecting that he can find a way to get what he wants without having to break a sweat, take any risks, or face any uncertainty. This guy is also known as the Nice Guy.
A typical Nice Guy creates a great plan and works hard to try and perfect it, the problem is this plan is all covert. It’s manipulative. It’s sneaky. This is all because he’s afraid when it comes right down to it, he won’t be able to take a punch.
He’s convinced that if he falls down that he’ll likely never get back up. He’s decided he’s not going to take action until he feels confident. As if confidence is going to just fall out of a tree.
To further this issue, this guy is convinced that his fears are life and death. He believes that getting rejected or being criticized or judged will actually cause his death.
Look at it this way. He’s so concerned about his self-image that it holds him back from the life he truly wants. His desire to control everything around him holds him hostage through anxiety and low self-esteem.
Fact is that life throws punches.
“Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” ~ Mike Tyson
Now let’s flip the script and talk about the man who knows that everything he wants is on the other side of his comfort zone. The man that expects things to be challenging and scary at times because he know this is part of the growth process.
This man understands that moving into the things that scare him actually makes him stronger. He knows that building a life where he’s constantly avoiding discomfort makes him fragile and weak. He knows that confidence is a product of taking risks and learning from experience.
He remembers that he’s taken punches in the past. He’s fallen down before and he was able to pick himself back up.
Bottom Line: This guy expects fear to show up and does what needs to be done because he’s adopted a mantra of “Do It Afraid.”
It also helps to have some perspective in all this fear. While the anxiety we all feel in life is real … it will not kill us. It will help us all if we can simply stop pretending that we’re in real danger when we feel anxious.
Years ago there was a documentary that followed firefighters into the World Trade Center on September 11th. These are the men who have been justifiably been celebrated as heroes. Yet, as the camera followed them up the stairs it revealed the looks on their faces. There was no action-movie bravado nor was there a look of total confidence and certainty. There were looks of fear, concern and even flashes of terror. But they went up the stairs anyway because that was a life and death situation.
Most of what we face in creating our lives and marriages is not life and death – so let’s stop acting like we may die if we take a risk with our egos or time or cash.
I include myself in this situation because this affects me too. There are times when I hold back, don’t make a move or make excuses due to anxiety and fear of rejection. But being able to see where I’m holding back helps me make better decisions.
This is part of the power that comes from being part of a group who have collectively bought in to building themselves and each other up to more. A group of men who realize there are no shortcuts or hacks to a life and marriage full of passion and energy.
This is why the Man Of His Word Mastermind Group exists.
It’s designed to help you get clarity on the things you’re wanting and then feel the passion, power, and relief that comes from moving through your comfort zone. And best of all – you’re not alone in this process.
For six months you will have a band of brothers in the trenches with you. Men who are invested, have skin in the game, and are willing to cut through the excuses and really take action.
There are only six total seats available in this group. Click here if you’d like to learn more about how to claim one for yourself.
Next groups begin in January and I’m setting up phone calls this week to being the process of finding the right group of men who are invested and willing to go all in.
*Adapted from Tripp Lanier
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