Editor’s Note: This post is by Simple Marriage contributor Mary Ann Crossno.
One of the words that shows up most frequently in the Simple Marriage search engine is – you guessed it! – SEX. In today’s “Sex and the City” world, you would think that we all know all there is to know about sex.
That’s just not the way it is.
The popular culture and the media use sex to sell, entertain, and exploit. Situation comedies, soap operas, movies, commercials, music videos, video games, and websites present a distorted view of sexuality that does more harm than good. Greater numbers of couples and individuals are coming to therapy looking for help with cybersex affairs and internet porn addiction.
I took my first course in human sexuality at the age of 54 – and I was shocked at how much I did not know about sex! Sex education was not part of my high school education, and the information that is given in today’s typical junior high or high school class is just a step above no information. It’s unlikely that you took a college course studying human sexuality unless you majored in a specific field that required it.
So if you’re the average man or woman in a committed relationship, odds are better than even that what you have learned about sex is haphazard information based on stereotypes that is unreliable, unrealistic, incomplete and in many cases, wrong.
Sex is one of our most powerful biological drives. Our sexuality can be the drive that pushes us to create intimate connections, allowing us to be truly known – or it can be the drive that pushes us into behaviors that destroy relationships and leave a legacy of pain.
We get to choose how we will use our sexuality.
Genital banging [sex designed for pro-creation] is natural – grown up sex that requires intense intimacy is an adult developmental task.
It takes longer for humans to reach full sexual maturity than any other species.
Taking responsibility for what you do and don’t know about sex is part of embracing the idea that your relationship is about your emotional and spiritual maturity.
Here’s some reliable links to get you started on your way to knowing what you don’t know or what you need to know about sex.
This link takes you to a list of websites for sex educators and therapists.
Scroll down the page and there are 40 links to other reliable websites covering sexuality topics.
This link takes you to a comprehensive list of books that addresses how to talk to kids about sex, GLBT sexuality, sex therapy, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, masturbation and everything in between! You’re sure to find a book on this list that addresses any question you have about sex.
Website that covers all aspects of women’s health.
Great brochure on Keeping Intimacy Alive at Midlife and Beyond.
This website is ALL about Women’s Sexual health.
This is the blog from The Women’s Sexual Health Foundation – good place to enter a dialogue with doctors and other health care practitioners.
Good information on a wide range of sex related topics.
This website covers topics relating to men and women’s sexual health, love and relationships, sexuality education, STD’s and more.
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